I did not mean...
Posted by Shannon on October 23, 1997 at 23:16:26:
In response to Reality, written by Mark on October 23, 1997 at 13:21:10
] ] I think had Willoughby not been disinherited, he would have
] ] married Marianne because I believe he truly loved her(a feeling he'd never experienced before). With the true circumstances, he loved her, but he was not strong enough to give up financial security to follow his heart. Later, he realizes he will pay greatly (far more than all of his debts)because he denied his heart what was essential to his existence(the love of Marianne). So yes, if the money wasn't an issue, they would have been truly happy. He then wished he could change all of his previous actions, and give her the devotion they both needed.
] Trust me on this one. Rule #1 with any couple going into marriage is: NEVER expect the other one to change!! Marriage is not a spousal improvement project. This is the main reason there are so many women (and men, for that matter) who are trapped in abusive marriages. They just know that their love for the other will eventually turn things around.
] This does happen sometimes, I will admit. But in the vast majority of cases, it doesn't. You should be grateful for every improvement in your spouse, but you should look upon these as bonuses, not expectations.
Please, do bare with me, for I am no more than 15 and am realitively new at great English Literature. But I will attempt to let you know what I mean by all this. I do understand that one should not marry a person just to change them. You should marry someone you love, someone you would not ever want to change. I did not mean to imply that Marianne wanted to change Willoughby or vice versa. But what I meant when I said something about someone wanting to change, I meant Willoughby wanted to go back and erase all of his horrible mistakes(his relations with Beth, drinking gambling, his debts, etc.) so he could have been good enough for Marianne. I hope you know what I meant now.
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