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out-of-town guests

Posted by Laura W on July 12, 1998 at 16:30:18:


In response to relatives/weddings, written by mishel on July 12, 1998 at 10:50:41

To L and T index ] I was just wondering about the accomodations of relatives who came from out of town to attend a wedding. Would they all stay in the house of the bride's family? Were weddings even that grand as to command far off relatives make the trip to attend? If so, how long would they stay?


Unlike today, weddings were not such a big deal then (excepting the "society weddings" of course). They were usually very small affairs, and often among the wealthy took place at home (if they purchased a special license they could do that) with only a very few guests, mostly family members. People were not expected to travel across the country to attend one, both because of the logistical difficulties and because the attitude towards weddings was very different-- I would say more comparable to how we celebrate baptisms today. In a small country town, the whole parish would probably attend, without formal invitations-- like "poor Miss Taylor's" wedding in Emma. In London, unless it was a giant society wedding, it was as likely to take place in a family chapel or drawing room. Many people considered large weddings vulgar.

So anyway, I would say that if certain relatives happened to be out of town, they simply wouldn't attend. They wouldn't travel across the country just for a wedding, but on the other hand, a family might plan a wedding by delaying it or moving it forward so that someone might be able to attend if they were arriving or leaving near the projected time. Weddings were often planned on relatively short notice, with betrothals lasting only a few weeks to a few months-- the only preparations needed were to obtain a license, a priest, and a ring, and perhaps a trouseau, although the latter was not considered necessary until Victorian times.

Recall that in P&P Lydia does not return for her sisters' wedding, and neither do they travel to hers. This was not just because of the scandal caused by Lydia's behavior, but also because it was not considered necessary for the family, or Lydia, to undertake the expense of a special trip.

OTOH, very wealthy people in a large country house with a chapel might have a large house party to celebrate a wedding. The guests would probably stay anywhere from a week to a month.




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