Posted by kathleen (elder) on May 29, 1997 at 18:39:06:
In reply to Woulda,shoulda,coulda..... posted by Sherry on May 29, 1997 at 15:59:09
] Need I go on?
If you want to, please do. Here's an over-the -top combination of your suggestions so far (strictly tongue in cheek). ;-p
OK, so we're gonna change Fanny's story. Let's see,
1. She smacks Edmund and says, "Hey, Diphead, I need a fire in the school room where I hide out. See to it now."
2. She goes up to Maria and gently tells her to call off her wedding because "Your fiancee is boob, you obviously have the hots for that two-timing cad Henry Crawford (even though he doesn't give two figs for you), and if you persist in marrying you will live to regret it."
3. She goes back to Edmund and tells him that all Mary has going for her is her sex appeal -- "Mary is a bitchy witch or a witchy bitch or whatever, and I'm not saying that just because I've been madly in love with you all my life."
4. She waits until Aunt Bertram dozes off, grabs Pug and takes him/her out to the fountain and drowns him/her.
5. Then she walks over to Dr Grant's house, breaks in through a window, creeps into Mary's room and beats her up. She tells Mary to stay away from Edmund, or else.
6. Emboldened by her success so far, she walks over to Aunt Norris' house and sneaks in. [Mrs Norris probably is a light sleeper, so Fanny will have to be very quiet -- maybe she put a sleeping draught in her Aunt's tea earlier in the evening.] She then grabs a pillow and smothers the old lady.
7. Now, I personally think that if Fanny is able to do all of this, then she will go back to Mansfield Park, grab a bag and stuff in all the cash and portable loot she can find, and then use that fire in her room to burn the house down. She manages to save Edmund, of course, and persuades him that Mary started the fire, and maybe the two of them should run away. Next we hear of them, they'll both be missionaries in the West Indies (returning the ill-gotten wealth of the Bertrams to the island people).
I like this -- it can be fun to rewrite the story. (It's not literature, but it is therapeutic!) :-)
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