Posted by Cassia on May 21, 1997 at 14:49:40:
In reply to Gratitude counts for too much? posted by Amy on May 17, 1997 at 21:11:38
] I'd agree, Anna, that the Admiral had not bought the right to make an immoral display.
] But maybe the Admiral's behavior really isn't the point, even though it's interesting to think about.
] I think that Mary's situation as a newly taken-in relative obliged her to be circumspect. If she dissed the Admiral, on might understandably wonder what she might she be saying about the Grants after quitting the parsonage, probably in a year or two.
] I know what you mean, her manners are really a trivial thing compared to the idea of the Admiral's morality, but as JA shows us so often, manners can be sort of a mirror of the soul or personality.
________
I must agree with Amy. It is never hypocrasy to hold your tongue when speaking of you owe a great deal to people who have never met said person, especially if the parties concerned never asked about this area of hid life in the first place. Mary could say all of theis to the Grants, to Henry or even to a friend who kenw both herself and her uncle but _not _ to Fanny and Edmund who are strangers.
Remember, a person's reputation means a great deal more in a society where knowledge of character is one main calling card. Besides, complete and abosolute honesty is just as damaging as it means that you speak frequently with taking into account how you words might have on others.
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