(To the tune "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast)
Written by Myretta

Gosh it disturbs me to see you this way
Looking so down in the dumps
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you
Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as retiring as you
You're haughty and snooty and shy
Ev'ry one here aspires to be you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's rich as Fitzwill
Or been ditched like Fitzwill
No one's ever been half as betwitched as Fitzwill

For there's no one in town half as wealthy
Croesus has nothing on you
Your bank account's alway's been healthy
We can tell that your blood is incredibly blue

No one's dark as Fitwill
Makes his mark like Fitzwill
No one smoulders with quite the same spark as Fitzwill

Not one of us wishes you trouble
We hope your suit will go well
But it looks like she's bursting your bubble
And the root of your problem's as clear as a bell

No one's pissed as Fitzwill
Just been dissed like Fitwill
No one's proposal's quite missed like Fitzwill

As a suitor, yes, I'm exasperating

My what a dud, that Fitzwill

- Republic of Pemberley -

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