Sophy
Chapter 6
You can well imagine what effect the Colonel's announcement had on me. Captain Croft! I had actually been face to face with the man about whom I had been wondering for months, without knowing who he was.
Besides, if Captain Croft was in Yarmouth, that could only mean one thing - Frederick was, if not at home already, at least on his way and would arrive soon.
The ten minutes until we reached my home seemed like an eternity to me. I could not sit still any more, and the Colonel was watching me with a contented smile.
"Do you think your brother will be at home by now, Miss Wentworth," he asked.
"I do not know...I hope so, but there are so many things that could still keep him on board...he will arrive soon, though, I think."
Frederick waiting for me...after two years of absence his sister was not at home to welcome him - it was a thought I could not endure. Who knew how long his visit would be, perhaps there were only a few days during which he could stay with us, and perhaps I had missed a whole day already. I felt miserable at the mere notion.
Sir Alexander must have read my thoughts, for he said, "Do not worry, Miss Wentworth, perhaps he is still on his way."
The carriage stopped at our front door, and the Colonel got off to help me get out, too.
"Good bye, Miss Wentworth," he said, "and have a pleasant evening with your family."
"You think my brother is here, then," I asked anxiously.
"I hope so, for your sake. I know how fond you are of him," was his answer. Then he smiled again. "Let your welcome exceed his expectations, Miss Wentworth, as you told me you would."
"You still remember what I said weeks ago," I asked, wondering why he did.
"That particular statement, yes," he replied. "How could I forget it? But now, do not keep your brother waiting for longer than necessary."
I laughed. "You are right. Good evening, Colonel!"
"Good evening, Miss Wentworth!"
He took a short bow, and got into the carriage again, while I turned to the door and entered the house.
*******
I had hardly passed the threshold, when I heard a familiar laughter emerge from the parlour. It was Frederick's; he had come home at last. I hurried there to join my family and to welcome Frederick at home.
He turned to me, and I had to admit that Sir Alexander had been right. Two years, at Frederick's age, DID make a huge difference.
I had remembered Frederick as a boy of fifteen, still very much as he had been at twelve (taller, but otherwise not very different), but when I looked at him now, it was not hard to imagine the man he was going to be - the man he was going to be soon. In those two years I had not seen him, Frederick had grown up. To be sure, he was still very much as he had ever been - lively, teasing sometimes, and there was still the merry sparkle in his eyes that told me he was up to some mischief or other - he would not have been Frederick if this had changed.
But one could tell by the way he talked, and by his whole behaviour, that he was not a boy any more. Not to forget that he was taller than our father now.
As soon as I entered the room, he turned to me with a radiant smile, and suffered my sisterly hug and tears of happiness tolerantly.
"There, there, Sophia, you need not cry," he said in a soothing voice, trying to hide that he was affected, too.
I held him at arm's length and had a closer look at him.
"You have grown handsome in those two years," I said with a teasing smile, drying my tears with a handkerchief.
"Why, thank you, Sophia, I am doing my best," he answered with a grin.
We sat down, and Frederick continued to tell our parents about his last two years' adventures.
I have to admit I shuddered more than once in horror of what could have happened to him, and wondered if he had ever been aware of any danger.
When I asked him, he thought for a moment, and then said earnestly, "I think I am aware of it all the time, Sophia, but I do not dwell on it. It would be far more dangerous to live in constant dread of what might happen, simply because it makes you insensitive to real dangers - fear is the worst counsellor you can imagine."
That moment I realised what Colonel Kennington had meant when he had described Frederick as more grown-up than his age would suggest. He did not sound like a seventeen-year-old, not at all.
I changed the topic.
"How long will you stay, Frederick?"
He sighed. "Not long enough. I have two weeks' leave of absence."
"Two weeks only! We'd better make the best of those two weeks then," I answered.
Frederick laughed. "This is just what I am going to do."
*******
The next day, Frederick accompanied me to Kennington House. When I had told him that Colonel Kennington was at home, recovering from a wound, Frederick had at once decided that he would go to see him.
"I would want to see my friends if I were in his situation," he said.
"Frederick, he is much better already."
"Still I think I ought to visit him - and anyway, our mother wanted to invite the Kenningtons to dinner tonight, so someone has to bring them their invitation."
The invitation was accepted gratefully, and Frederick was received just as a he could wish.
Sarah had always been fond of him, and so was the Colonel. While Frederick was sitting and talking with them, I turned to Sir Alexander.
"I hate to admit it, Sir Alexander, but you were right."
He laughed. "About what, Miss Wentworth?"
"You told me I would hardly recognise my brother, and it was true. He has changed in those two years."
"This is only natural, Miss Wentworth. I think your brother is a very amiable young man. I am looking forward to get to know him better."
I blushed. Every praise directed to Frederick was valued highly by me.
We soon left Kennington House in the direction of our own. Our mother received us on the doorstep, telling me in an indignant manner, "Mr Williams has called while you were gone."
"Indeed!" I noticed that Frederick's inquiring gaze was resting on me, but I was not in the mood for answering any questions.
"Too bad we were not here, Mama, but we could hardly leave the Kenningtons any sooner. Did he wait long?" I inquired. Like I cared, really.
"He waited for more than half an hour. He had heard of Frederick's arrival and wanted to welcome him."
"How good of Mr Williams to think of me," Frederick said, grinning. "But I dare say there will be other occasions for me to meet him."
"Oh yes, there will," Mama said. "I have invited him to join the dinner party tonight."
It would have been too wonderful if she had forgotten about it. I had not seen Mr Williams so very much lately; he had had some business in London and had hardly ever been in Norfolk. Not as if I had missed him, mind you.
I wanted to go upstairs to my room, to have a few minutes to myself, but Frederick stopped me.
"Sophia," he said, " would you mind going into the garden with your favourite brother?"
"Whatever for?" I asked him.
"Oh, just for a bit of talk." He smiled, and I knew what he was referring to.
We took a turn in the garden, and he asked me bluntly, "Now, can you explain Mr Williams' recent interest in my person?"
"Why cannot Mr Williams call on you, Frederick?"
"Because he never did, that's why. He never had any interest in me until now. Come on, Williams did not come to pay a visit to me; I am not as foolish as to believe that. He came to see you, right?"
I sighed. "I fear so, yes, Frederick."
"Am I to understand that you are not very fond of him, then?"
"Not fond enough to take pleasure in his attentions, no."
"Why not? He'd be a good match, wouldn't he?" Frederick looked at me attentively.
"Don't get me wrong, Sophia, I am not going to interfere with your affairs. I just want to understand you, that is why I ask. I never gave the matter of my future brother-in-law much thought, to be honest. I never imagined you as a married woman. As far as brothers-in-law are concerned, one is as good to me as the other, as long as you are happy with him."
"From a prudential point of view, Mr Williams would be a good match, to be sure, but I cannot imagine myself being happy as his wife. Anyway, he has not proposed to me, and it is most likely that he never will, so the entire discussion is useless. Let us go back into the house, shall we?"
*******
The Kenningtons and Sir Alexander arrived first that evening. Sir Alexander and the Colonel took the opportunity to converse with Frederick for a while, and I sat down with Sarah, glad to have a chance to speak with her alone. It had been a long time since neither the Colonel, nor Sir Alexander, nor Mrs Kennington had been near to disturb our privacy.
"How are you, Sarah," I asked, glancing at Sir Alexander.
Sarah caught my meaning. "Oh, I do not know, Sophy, really," she answered with a bashful smile. "It is hard to tell, really."
I told her about Mr Williams's call this morning, and the discussion between Frederick and me.
"I really do not know, Sarah," I concluded. "Perhaps everyone else is right and I am wrong. Mr Williams is a good match, and more than one woman would be happy if he only paid half as much attention to them."
"But you do not love him, Sophy, that is all you need to know."
I laughed, remembering what Frederick had said. "Frederick said he would not care much whom I married as long as I was happy."
"I always knew your brother was a clever fellow, and the older he gets the more I am convinced of it. But another thing, what would you think of going to Yarmouth with me tomorrow morning? I need to get a few things there, and I thought you could do with some change."
"I would love to, Sarah." I answered. "When are you going to leave?"
"Oh, not too early, what do you think about ten o'clock? Do you think you will be ready to go at ten?"
"I think so. Is your sister-in-law going with us?"
"No, she is not, which I consider a blessing for us. We have not had much time for each other lately, have we?"
At that moment, Mr Williams entered the room, and joined us immediately after he had greeted my mother and father. I perceived Frederick's mischievous grin and wink - he was enjoying himself immensely, and I was already trying to think of a suitable revenge.
I was able to direct the conversation to a tolerable subject, at least. I asked him if he had completed his business in London, the weather in London -
Thank God for the weather, it is always a proper conversation topic.
- his London acquaintance, if they were all well and if he had met them ...
and if I ran out of proper things to say, Sarah stepped in and helped me with inquiring after some people she knew, and asking Mr Williams about the London fashion...
Fashion? Oh no, Sarah, how could you! The next ten minutes I spent listening - or rather not listening - to a minute description of the latest gentlemen's fashions in London, hoping for someone or something to rescue me. Where were those knights in shining armour if a girl needed them?
At last, I was rescued - by the arrival of Captain Croft. My parents had invited him, too, when they had heard that the Captain was to stay in Yarmouth. Frederick had already been waiting for his arrival, joined him and introduced him to us.
It was, indeed, the gentleman we had met in the inn in Yarmouth. He recognised Sarah and me at once, and seemed to be quite pleased to meet us again.
"I would not have believed it, Wentworth, but you were right," he said to Frederick, after Frederick had introduced us.
I gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean, sir?"
He laughed. "I'd better not tell you, for your brother's sake," he answered. "I am sure he knows what I am talking about. Don't you, Wentworth?"
"I think I do, Captain," was Frederick's reply.
"It obviously has something to do with me, so I would like to know, too," I said, smiling. "If you are not going to tell me, Captain, I am afraid I will have no other choice but to tease you until you do."
"So much the better, Miss Wentworth. It will give us something to talk about."
"Dwelling on one topic all evening can be rather boring, Captain Croft."
"Dwelling on one topic can, but teasing is not, Miss Wentworth. Besides, I do not think an evening could be boring in such charming company."
With these words and a polite bow he left us in the direction of my father.
Sarah looked at him, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Now this man is definitely my brother's rival for the title "worst flirt in the neighbourhood", she said.
"Do you think so? I quite like him," I answered. "Besides, he did not flirt with every lady in the room, which is what your brother would do."
"Oh, well, go ahead, defend him if you can," Sarah said, grinning. "My opinion is settled, so..."
"...so do not confuse me with facts, I know," I answered. "We'll see what this evening has in store for us."
You can well imagine what effect the Colonel's announcement had on me. Captain Croft! I had actually been face to face with the man about whom I had been wondering for months, without knowing who he was.
Besides, if Captain Croft was in Yarmouth, that could only mean one thing - Frederick was, if not at home already, at least on his way and would arrive soon.
The ten minutes until we reached my home seemed like an eternity to me. I could not sit still any more, and the Colonel was watching me with a contented smile.
"Do you think your brother will be at home by now, Miss Wentworth," he asked.
"I do not know...I hope so, but there are so many things that could still keep him on board...he will arrive soon, though, I think."
Frederick waiting for me...after two years of absence his sister was not at home to welcome him - it was a thought I could not endure. Who knew how long his visit would be, perhaps there were only a few days during which he could stay with us, and perhaps I had missed a whole day already. I felt miserable at the mere notion.
Sir Alexander must have read my thoughts, for he said, "Do not worry, Miss Wentworth, perhaps he is still on his way."
The carriage stopped at our front door, and the Colonel got off to help me get out, too.
"Good bye, Miss Wentworth," he said, "and have a pleasant evening with your family."
"You think my brother is here, then," I asked anxiously.
"I hope so, for your sake. I know how fond you are of him," was his answer. Then he smiled again. "Let your welcome exceed his expectations, Miss Wentworth, as you told me you would."
"You still remember what I said weeks ago," I asked, wondering why he did.
"That particular statement, yes," he replied. "How could I forget it? But now, do not keep your brother waiting for longer than necessary."
I laughed. "You are right. Good evening, Colonel!"
"Good evening, Miss Wentworth!"
He took a short bow, and got into the carriage again, while I turned to the door and entered the house.
*******
I had hardly passed the threshold, when I heard a familiar laughter emerge from the parlour. It was Frederick's; he had come home at last. I hurried there to join my family and to welcome Frederick at home.
He turned to me, and I had to admit that Sir Alexander had been right. Two years, at Frederick's age, DID make a huge difference.
I had remembered Frederick as a boy of fifteen, still very much as he had been at twelve (taller, but otherwise not very different), but when I looked at him now, it was not hard to imagine the man he was going to be - the man he was going to be soon. In those two years I had not seen him, Frederick had grown up. To be sure, he was still very much as he had ever been - lively, teasing sometimes, and there was still the merry sparkle in his eyes that told me he was up to some mischief or other - he would not have been Frederick if this had changed.
But one could tell by the way he talked, and by his whole behaviour, that he was not a boy any more. Not to forget that he was taller than our father now.
As soon as I entered the room, he turned to me with a radiant smile, and suffered my sisterly hug and tears of happiness tolerantly.
"There, there, Sophia, you need not cry," he said in a soothing voice, trying to hide that he was affected, too.
I held him at arm's length and had a closer look at him.
"You have grown handsome in those two years," I said with a teasing smile, drying my tears with a handkerchief.
"Why, thank you, Sophia, I am doing my best," he answered with a grin.
We sat down, and Frederick continued to tell our parents about his last two years' adventures.
I have to admit I shuddered more than once in horror of what could have happened to him, and wondered if he had ever been aware of any danger.
When I asked him, he thought for a moment, and then said earnestly, "I think I am aware of it all the time, Sophia, but I do not dwell on it. It would be far more dangerous to live in constant dread of what might happen, simply because it makes you insensitive to real dangers - fear is the worst counsellor you can imagine."
That moment I realised what Colonel Kennington had meant when he had described Frederick as more grown-up than his age would suggest. He did not sound like a seventeen-year-old, not at all.
I changed the topic.
"How long will you stay, Frederick?"
He sighed. "Not long enough. I have two weeks' leave of absence."
"Two weeks only! We'd better make the best of those two weeks then," I answered.
Frederick laughed. "This is just what I am going to do."
*******
The next day, Frederick accompanied me to Kennington House. When I had told him that Colonel Kennington was at home, recovering from a wound, Frederick had at once decided that he would go to see him.
"I would want to see my friends if I were in his situation," he said.
"Frederick, he is much better already."
"Still I think I ought to visit him - and anyway, our mother wanted to invite the Kenningtons to dinner tonight, so someone has to bring them their invitation."
The invitation was accepted gratefully, and Frederick was received just as a he could wish.
Sarah had always been fond of him, and so was the Colonel. While Frederick was sitting and talking with them, I turned to Sir Alexander.
"I hate to admit it, Sir Alexander, but you were right."
He laughed. "About what, Miss Wentworth?"
"You told me I would hardly recognise my brother, and it was true. He has changed in those two years."
"This is only natural, Miss Wentworth. I think your brother is a very amiable young man. I am looking forward to get to know him better."
I blushed. Every praise directed to Frederick was valued highly by me.
We soon left Kennington House in the direction of our own. Our mother received us on the doorstep, telling me in an indignant manner, "Mr Williams has called while you were gone."
"Indeed!" I noticed that Frederick's inquiring gaze was resting on me, but I was not in the mood for answering any questions.
"Too bad we were not here, Mama, but we could hardly leave the Kenningtons any sooner. Did he wait long?" I inquired. Like I cared, really.
"He waited for more than half an hour. He had heard of Frederick's arrival and wanted to welcome him."
"How good of Mr Williams to think of me," Frederick said, grinning. "But I dare say there will be other occasions for me to meet him."
"Oh yes, there will," Mama said. "I have invited him to join the dinner party tonight."
It would have been too wonderful if she had forgotten about it. I had not seen Mr Williams so very much lately; he had had some business in London and had hardly ever been in Norfolk. Not as if I had missed him, mind you.
I wanted to go upstairs to my room, to have a few minutes to myself, but Frederick stopped me.
"Sophia," he said, " would you mind going into the garden with your favourite brother?"
"Whatever for?" I asked him.
"Oh, just for a bit of talk." He smiled, and I knew what he was referring to.
We took a turn in the garden, and he asked me bluntly, "Now, can you explain Mr Williams' recent interest in my person?"
"Why cannot Mr Williams call on you, Frederick?"
"Because he never did, that's why. He never had any interest in me until now. Come on, Williams did not come to pay a visit to me; I am not as foolish as to believe that. He came to see you, right?"
I sighed. "I fear so, yes, Frederick."
"Am I to understand that you are not very fond of him, then?"
"Not fond enough to take pleasure in his attentions, no."
"Why not? He'd be a good match, wouldn't he?" Frederick looked at me attentively.
"Don't get me wrong, Sophia, I am not going to interfere with your affairs. I just want to understand you, that is why I ask. I never gave the matter of my future brother-in-law much thought, to be honest. I never imagined you as a married woman. As far as brothers-in-law are concerned, one is as good to me as the other, as long as you are happy with him."
"From a prudential point of view, Mr Williams would be a good match, to be sure, but I cannot imagine myself being happy as his wife. Anyway, he has not proposed to me, and it is most likely that he never will, so the entire discussion is useless. Let us go back into the house, shall we?"
*******
The Kenningtons and Sir Alexander arrived first that evening. Sir Alexander and the Colonel took the opportunity to converse with Frederick for a while, and I sat down with Sarah, glad to have a chance to speak with her alone. It had been a long time since neither the Colonel, nor Sir Alexander, nor Mrs Kennington had been near to disturb our privacy.
"How are you, Sarah," I asked, glancing at Sir Alexander.
Sarah caught my meaning. "Oh, I do not know, Sophy, really," she answered with a bashful smile. "It is hard to tell, really."
I told her about Mr Williams's call this morning, and the discussion between Frederick and me.
"I really do not know, Sarah," I concluded. "Perhaps everyone else is right and I am wrong. Mr Williams is a good match, and more than one woman would be happy if he only paid half as much attention to them."
"But you do not love him, Sophy, that is all you need to know."
I laughed, remembering what Frederick had said. "Frederick said he would not care much whom I married as long as I was happy."
"I always knew your brother was a clever fellow, and the older he gets the more I am convinced of it. But another thing, what would you think of going to Yarmouth with me tomorrow morning? I need to get a few things there, and I thought you could do with some change."
"I would love to, Sarah." I answered. "When are you going to leave?"
"Oh, not too early, what do you think about ten o'clock? Do you think you will be ready to go at ten?"
"I think so. Is your sister-in-law going with us?"
"No, she is not, which I consider a blessing for us. We have not had much time for each other lately, have we?"
At that moment, Mr Williams entered the room, and joined us immediately after he had greeted my mother and father. I perceived Frederick's mischievous grin and wink - he was enjoying himself immensely, and I was already trying to think of a suitable revenge.
I was able to direct the conversation to a tolerable subject, at least. I asked him if he had completed his business in London, the weather in London -
Thank God for the weather, it is always a proper conversation topic.
- his London acquaintance, if they were all well and if he had met them ...
and if I ran out of proper things to say, Sarah stepped in and helped me with inquiring after some people she knew, and asking Mr Williams about the London fashion...
Fashion? Oh no, Sarah, how could you! The next ten minutes I spent listening - or rather not listening - to a minute description of the latest gentlemen's fashions in London, hoping for someone or something to rescue me. Where were those knights in shining armour if a girl needed them?
At last, I was rescued - by the arrival of Captain Croft. My parents had invited him, too, when they had heard that the Captain was to stay in Yarmouth. Frederick had already been waiting for his arrival, joined him and introduced him to us.
It was, indeed, the gentleman we had met in the inn in Yarmouth. He recognised Sarah and me at once, and seemed to be quite pleased to meet us again.
"I would not have believed it, Wentworth, but you were right," he said to Frederick, after Frederick had introduced us.
I gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean, sir?"
He laughed. "I'd better not tell you, for your brother's sake," he answered. "I am sure he knows what I am talking about. Don't you, Wentworth?"
"I think I do, Captain," was Frederick's reply.
"It obviously has something to do with me, so I would like to know, too," I said, smiling. "If you are not going to tell me, Captain, I am afraid I will have no other choice but to tease you until you do."
"So much the better, Miss Wentworth. It will give us something to talk about."
"Dwelling on one topic all evening can be rather boring, Captain Croft."
"Dwelling on one topic can, but teasing is not, Miss Wentworth. Besides, I do not think an evening could be boring in such charming company."
With these words and a polite bow he left us in the direction of my father.
Sarah looked at him, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Now this man is definitely my brother's rival for the title "worst flirt in the neighbourhood", she said.
"Do you think so? I quite like him," I answered. "Besides, he did not flirt with every lady in the room, which is what your brother would do."
"Oh, well, go ahead, defend him if you can," Sarah said, grinning. "My opinion is settled, so..."
"...so do not confuse me with facts, I know," I answered. "We'll see what this evening has in store for us."
Chapter 7
This was my first encounter with the Admiral, or at least the first opportunity to talk to him. It was as I had told Sarah; I liked him at once - although, had anyone asked me, I could not have expressed any particular reason for it. By the end of that evening, I was convinced that Captain Croft was the most amiable gentleman I had ever met - and was very eager to meet him again.
*******
During dinner I did not have the pleasure of Captain Croft's company. He was seated between my mother and Mrs Kennington, and I saw him talk with them animatedly. I considered it a waste that a gentleman like Captain Croft should entertain Mrs Kennington, while I was confined to Mr Williams. My mother had placed me next to him - deliberately, of course. Mama was not the sort of woman to give up her plans so easily.
I had one comfort, at least, Frederick was sitting next to me as well. Time for me to do some questioning, I thought.
"Frederick, what was Captain Croft referring to before? What did you say to him?"
Frederick smiled. "I do not think I can tell you, I'd spoil his evening, and then I'm in for some trouble. Sorry, Sophia."
"You could give me a hint, at least. I have the feeling that the two of you are making fun of me, and I hate that notion."
"Don't worry, sister, nobody is making fun of you. It was something nice, but I will say no more."
"Something nice, was it? Well, that is something, at least," I answered, wondering what it could be. "Perhaps Captain Croft will tell me."
"No, he won't. Not until he chooses to do so, and that can take some time. He does talk a great deal, but if you want him to tell you something he wants to keep secret - no way."
Now Mr Williams wanted my attention, he informed me about the latest news from his mother in Bath. It seemed that Mrs Williams would return home in three weeks.
"Has Mrs Williams benefited by her stay in Bath, sir," I asked.
"Oh yes, she has met many of her friends there, and as far as I know she has amused herself excessively."
"I was actually inquiring after her health, Mr Williams. Has she felt any benefit in that respect?"
"She is feeling much better, indeed. Her stay in Bath has done her a great deal of good."
"I am glad to hear it, sir. You must be quite relieved to see your mother so well again," I answered, and was glad when our maidservant came in with the next course. As long as Mr Williams had something to eat, he was a pleasant companion. He did not talk much then.
I noticed that Captain Croft was looking at me across the table. When he saw that I had observed his gaze, he gave me a smile before he turned to Mrs Kennington again.
"Is Captain Croft always so - flirtatious?" I asked Frederick in a low voice.
"Flirtatious? Captain Croft? Are we talking of the same man? I've never seen him flirt," was his answer. "I have hardly ever seen him in ladies' company, however, so I cannot tell. The only lady I have seen him talk to before was Mrs Rigby, and I do not think he would flirt with his best friend's wife. It would not be a good idea to do so."
I laughed. "Certainly not."
*******
When we went into the parlour after dinner, leaving the gentlemen to themselves, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I would have a short break from Mr Williams, and I needed it.
I had to grant Mr Williams one thing - he was persistent. Any other man would have given up a long time ago, but not Mr Williams. Either he was not clever enough to read the signs, or he was just ignoring them. Both possibilities were no recommendation in his favour.
I sat down in one corner with Sarah, while Mama was sitting by the fire with Mrs Kennington.
"Her Highness assumes her place," Sarah murmured. "I am glad she will not go with us tomorrow, I will enjoy every minute without her."
There was not much I could say in reply. I knew and understood Sarah's opinion of her sister-in-law, but I could not help her. I had noticed that Sarah, very often, did not even trouble herself to be polite to her - which was a big mistake, in my opinion. Having Mrs Kennington as an adversary meant trouble, for sure. Especially as Mr Kennington was so devoted to his wife. There was still hope, though. I was sure Sir Alexander would not hesitate very long before he would declare his feelings to Sarah. It was obvious that there was a great deal of tender feeling on his side, and I was sometimes wondering what he was waiting for.
"Why do you not come and sit with us," my mother asked me. "You do not have any secrets to talk about, have you?"
I would have loved to stay where I was, especially since I knew that Mrs Kennington would dominate the conversation, but I could not think of an ample excuse, and neither could Sarah.
We both moved to the fireplace and took a seat with Mama and Mrs Kennington.
"I have to say your son is very gentleman-like, for a naval officer," Mrs Kennington said to my mother.
Her tone suggested that this was not much of a compliment, and I got angry. However, I tried to calm myself. There was no use in quarrelling with her.
"Do you suggest then that naval officers are not usually gentleman-like, Mrs Kennington," I said calmly. Both Sarah and my mother guessed the storm that was raging beneath the outward calmness. Sarah squeezed my hand soothingly, and Mama gave me a warning look.
"I think that the Navy gives many men the possibility to rise above their position, Miss Wentworth."
"Men like my brother, Mrs Kennington? Or like Sir Alexander Baldwin's brother?"
Mrs Kennington laughed. "Of course I did not think of your brother when I said that, Miss Wentworth. But we have one example here, Captain Croft is such a man."
"I beg your pardon, Mrs Kennington, but what exactly is wrong with Captain Croft?"
Even if my voice sounded calm and polite, I was boiling within, and wished I could do as I pleased. If I had been able to do as I pleased, I would have wrung her neck, I suppose.
Ha! I would have liked to see that, Sophy! Sorry, I did not want to interrupt you. Go on!
"His manners, Miss Wentworth. He is a friendly sort of man, to be sure, but does not behave like a gentleman. The problem is, those naval officers mix with all sorts of people, and unfortunately they pick up some habits that are not fit for polite society."
I did not know why I wanted to defend Captain Croft - or Navy men in general. Perhaps it was the fact that my brother was to be a naval officer, too. Perhaps I was annoyed that a woman who had been friendly and polite to a man five minutes before was now speaking ill of him in his absence. Or perhaps Captain Croft had already made a deeper impression on me than I was aware of - I cannot tell what it was.
"Mrs Kennington, if Sir James goes to see his tenants, he has to "mix" with them, too, and if Colonel Kennington is with his regiment, there will be just as many ordinary men as there are officers, in fact, there will be even more of them. Still, you do not accuse either of them of picking up nasty habits. What is the difference?"
"The difference, Miss Wentworth, is that Sir James and Colonel Kennington come from a genteel family."
"So does Captain Croft, as I have been told."
"Ah, you have been told so, have you? Well, we will never agree on that topic, so we will better leave it."
"As you wish, Mrs Kennington."
I wanted to add, "I have learnt my manners perfectly well, in spite of my rather lowly connections", but I thought the better of it. Starting a quarrel with Mrs Kennington would only spoil everybody's evening.
I turned to Sarah.
"Did you not want to see that piece of music I got from Mrs Hunt lately? I will copy it for you now, if you want me to."
Sarah nodded. She was just as eager to get me away from Mrs Kennington as I was. We walked over to the writing desk, and after I had shown the sheet of music to Sarah, I took out some paper and started copying it for her. I was glad to have something to do, something to concentrate on. Mrs Kennington had upset me more than I wanted her to notice, so I decided to keep away from her for the rest of the evening.
*******
When the gentlemen joined us, Mr Williams soon took the seat next to me. It was obvious that he was not inclined to leave that place very soon either, he started rambling on and on about the next hunting season and what preparations he was already making.
There were few topics that interested me less than that, but after the disagreement with Mrs Kennington I was quite glad to have a conversation partner who was at least not as insolent as she was. I listened to him absentmindedly, sometimes nodding or saying something polite that did not actually mean anything ("You say so, Mr Williams?" "Oh, really?" "How interesting!" etc.) and tried to look a bit cheerful, because I did not want him to notice at once how boring I really thought him. Well, I was perhaps able to fool Mr Williams, but there was someone in the room who was not so easily deceived.
After about ten minutes of Mr Williams's monologue, Captain Croft drew nearer and asked Mr Williams a few questions, gradually leading him away from his original topic.
Finally, he even got Mr Williams to leave us for a few minutes, to write down the address of one of his acquaintances who was, at the moment, living in Gibraltar.
Captain Croft turned to me and said, cheerfully, "So, how did I do that, Miss Wentworth?"
I only looked at him in bewilderment. "What do you mean, sir?"
He laughed. "I could not help it, Miss Wentworth, when I saw you with Mr Williams, I had to come to your rescue. Two more minutes and he'd have bored you to death, right?"
I blushed. How had he guessed? I had thought no one had noticed. I felt rather embarrassed that someone like Captain Croft, who scarcely knew me, had been able to guess my feelings.
"Oh dear, was it so obvious? I hope I have not been impolite! I do not want anyone to have the impression..."
"Believe me, Miss Wentworth, you were as polite as can be, but if any lady looked at me the way you looked at Mr Williams, I'd run for it."
He said this with such a comical expression that I could not help but join in with his laughter.
"See? That's more like it. You should laugh more often, it becomes you," he said.
"Captain Croft, are you trying to flirt with me?" I asked, still laughing.
"No, Miss Wentworth, I am not trying to flirt with you," he answered, smiling.
No, you are not trying, you are actually very good at it, I thought and turned away to hide my flushed face. Now Frederick came up to us to invite us to a game of cards with him and Sarah.
Captain Croft looked at me. "Only if you will be persuaded to be my partner, Miss Wentworth. What do you think?"
I was more than happy to have something to take me away from Mr Williams for a while, and playing cards with Captain Croft sounded like fun. I agreed at once.
During the card game, Colonel Kennington came over to watch us for a while. I noticed that he seemed to be a bit depressed, but I did not give the matter much thought. This had happened quite often lately, and I attributed his moods to his lack of employment.
Captain Croft was a good card player. We won, of course, which he gallantly gave me credit for.
"Well done, Miss Wentworth. It looks as if we are a good team."
I laughed. "At least as far as cards are concerned, yes. Are you going to stay here in Norfolk, sir," I added, more earnestly.
"Aye, I think I will."
"You are not going to visit your family then?"
He sighed. "There is not much of a family to be visited, Miss Wentworth. My sister lives in Taunton with her husband, and although I like my brother-in-law, we are quite different - I can think of more pleasant company than him. Besides, my sister and I have never been very close. If it would not take me so long to get there, I would still have gone there to see them, especially since my mother lives with them, too, and I would like to see my godson as well, but as it is...I will visit them next time I get back to England. Time is too short to be travelling all the way to Somersetshire and back now."
"It must be very bad to be separated from one's family like this, Captain Croft."
"Ah, well, one gets used to it." He sounded casual, but I was sure I had discerned something like sadness in his voice as well. This man puzzled me.
"Miss Wentworth," I heard Colonel Kennington say next to me.
"Colonel! I have to admit I quite missed you tonight. We have hardly talked to each other. How are you?"
"Very well, Miss Wentworth, thank you," he answered, glancing at Captain Croft. "I am going to leave soon, to go back to my regiment."
"Oh, good!"
"It does not seem as if you were very sorry to see me go, then, Miss Wentworth," the Colonel said.
"Oh...when I said it was good, I was thinking of how much you had wished to go, Colonel. You said yourself how much you hated to be idle."
"Right, Miss Wentworth, so I said."
"It is bothersome to have nothing to do, " Captain Croft said. "It is all very fine as long as one knows that one will soon be active again, but in your case - how long have you been away from your regiment now, Colonel?"
"Several months, Captain."
Captain Croft nodded. "You must be keen to get back to where the action is, then."
Colonel Kennington laughed. "I am, yes."
Still I had the impression that he was not as keen as he had been before.
*******
When I retired to my room that evening, I had enough time to reflect on what had happened.
I was still upset about Mrs Kennington and her haughtiness. She had obviously not taken the trouble to talk to Captain Croft much, or she would have noticed that he was a very amiable and gentleman-like man. To be sure, he was very frank in his talking, but there was nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
If Mrs Kennington's behaviour is what one calls good manners, I thought, I should be very glad to have no manners at all.
Colonel Kennington's behaviour puzzled me, too. There had been something in his voice when he had announced that he was to leave soon. What had he expected me to do? Had he wanted me to ask him to stay?
There were two things to look forward to, though, and soon I turned my thoughts to them.
I would go to Yarmouth with Sarah the next morning, and Edward would arrive at home, too.
Edward...that reminded me of his secret. I wondered if I would ever find out.
Chapter 8
The next morning I woke up early, despite being up till late the evening before. I was looking forward to going to Yarmouth with Sarah, and half hoping we might run into Captain Croft there - at the same time I was angry with myself for hoping it.
That day definitely had a few surprises in store for me, but everything at its time...
*******
At ten o'clock sharp, the Kennington's carriage stopped outside our front door. On seeing Sarah, I knew at once that something had happened - something pleasant, I could tell it by the look in her eyes. But she was not disposed to tell me what it was before we had left and were on the road to Yarmouth.
Then, however, she could not keep to herself any more.
"Guess what, Sophy!"
"Mrs Kennington has by some strange accident turned into an agreeable sort of person," I said, innocently.
"No, this would be too much of a miracle. Something has happened - the most wonderful thing - "
"Sir Alexander Baldwin has finally proposed to you, then," was my prompt suggestion.
"How did you guess?"
I laughed. "It was not so hard, really, I knew this would happen soon. But tell me - how, where, when? Give me all the details, Sarah!"
"Ah, well, I do not know where to start..."
"What about starting at the beginning, then?"
Sarah looked at me, slightly irritated. "Sophy, you are insufferable today, do you know that?"
"Sorry, Sarah, I did not mean to interrupt you. But I am just as impatient to hear your story as you are to tell it."
"Listen, then. At breakfast, this morning, Her Highness was unbearable. She was in the foulest mood you can imagine, even James noticed it, and that sure means something. Usually he is blind to her faults, but today - well, never mind.
I did not say anything - which is pretty unusual, anyway, but if I had said something I'd probably have told her how she gets on everyone's nerves, and then I might have been in trouble.
Instead, I finished breakfast as soon as possible - one quite loses one's appetite when someone behaves at the breakfast-table as my sister-in-law did - and left them, telling them I needed fresh air because I had a headache - only an excuse, but never mind, they wouldn't notice..."
I laughed. "Sarah, for Heaven's sake, don't forget to breathe!"
Sarah paused for a moment and then she started to laugh, too.
"You are right, Sophy, I really talk a bit too fast...so, I went into the orchard, to walk there, and after about five minutes, who came out into the garden in search for me?"
"Her Highness?" I asked, with a mischievous grin. Of course I knew it had not been Mrs Kennington, but I wanted to tease Sarah a bit. It worked.
Sarah looked skywards as if begging the Lord to send a bit of brain for her half-witted friend and said, "I would not have thought you were so insufferable today, Sophy. It was Sir Alexander, of course."
"Of course. Go on, what happened next?"
"He walked with me for a few minutes, saying nothing much - and then he asked me to become his wife. Sophy, you cannot imagine how happy I am! We will get married in September. You will be my bridesmaid, will you not? Please say you will!"
She gave me an entreating look. As if I would ever refuse her such a wish!
"I would not want to miss this, Sarah. I wish you all the happiness in the world, you both deserve it. What did your family say?"
"They do not know it yet - except Papa, that is, Alexander went to ask him for his consent at once. We want to tell them tonight."
I laughed. "Looks as if Mrs Kennington will not be the most interesting person in Kennington House this evening," I said.
"I like the idea of getting married better and better," Sarah answered, grinning. "Just imagine her face when she hears the news!"
"Oh, I would like to see her face! She will be green with envy, to be sure. Too bad a woman only gets married once, usually. She'd get married every week if she could just get all the attention. Not to mention that you will soon be Lady Sarah Baldwin while she is still only Mrs Kennington."
Sarah gave me a sharp look. "I am not going to criticise you, Sophy, but you are unusually unkind to Her Highness. Does that have any special meaning?"
I shook my head. "No, I always disliked her, and you know it."
"I do know it, Sophy, but you never talked about her like that. Are you still mad with her because of yesterday evening?"
"No, it is not because of yesterday evening."
Sarah gave me a searching look. "Are you sure? You did defend Captain Croft like a tigress, Sophy."
I laughed. "Come on, Sarah, do not be ridiculous. I did not get angry because of her speaking so ill of Captain Croft. My brother was affected, too. If I was angry, it was for Frederick's sake, not for Captain Croft's. I am quite sure that Captain Croft is well able to fend for himself."
"Oh, yes, of course he is. You did flirt a great deal with him, though."
"I did not!"
"Yes, you did, do not deny it. I noticed it, and Thomas agreed with me when I mentioned it."
"Colonel Kennington is sure an expert as far as flirtation is concerned," I said, ironically.
"So he is, Sophy, but I have to say he has greatly improved lately. I have not seen him flirt for some time now, it seems he has grown out of it. Not a single love affair in all the months he has spent at home - it looks as if someone has tamed wild Thomas Kennington. I wonder who it might be."
I shrugged my shoulders. "I saw him flirt a great deal at the assembly in Yarmouth. My brother Edward was quite angry with him, I had the impression, at least."
"With whom did he flirt? You could give me a clue."
"Miss Diana Bell, Miss Stewart - and one or two others."
"That's what I meant - only three or four ladies!" She laughed. "Either he is getting old or he is in love."
"With all three or four of them? That would be like the Colonel, though."
"You do him injustice there, Sophy. He may be a terrible flirt, true, but once he falls in love with a lady there will be no more flirting with others, believe me. Once he gives away his heart, there will be an end to it."
"He is your brother, and you know him better than I do, so I will just believe you. But now, what are you going to do in Yarmouth?"
Sarah told me of all the things she wanted to accomplish in Yarmouth - a great deal of shopping, and then she wanted to see a friend of her mother's, Lady Reynolds.
"I will need someone to select my wedding clothes with me," she said with a grin.
"What about Mrs Kennington," I answered.
"Sophy, do not annoy me, will you? Mrs Kennington! In her dreams, maybe."
*******
Shopping with Sarah was fun, as always. She had her way of commenting on things she saw in the shop windows, no matter if she liked them or not, that made me laugh almost every time.
I caught myself keeping a sharp lookout for a certain naval officer more than once, and was annoyed about it. What would he think of me if he knew? What would Sarah think?
I was sure she was aware of what I was doing, and if she had not said anything about it yet, I was sure she would say something sooner or later. Sarah always gave me a piece of her mind, but she usually waited for the right moment.
When all the shopping was done, Sarah announced that she would now call on Lady Reynolds. I was not acquainted with that lady, so Sarah suggested that I should go and call on Mrs Benton or Mrs Hunt in the meantime, and that she would pick me up there.
I agreed at once. A chat with Mrs Hunt was just what I wanted at the moment, and so the carriage stopped at her house.
"I'll come and pick you up in about half an hour," Sarah said. I promised to be ready by then and rang the doorbell.
The maidservant who let me in asked me to wait a moment in the hallway while she told Mrs Hunt I was here. I heard an exclamation of delight, and Mrs Hunt rushed out of her parlour.
"Miss Wentworth! How nice of you to think of an old friend! Do come in, there is someone here I would like you to meet!"
With these words, she took my arm and drew me to the door.
When I entered the room, I perceived Captain Croft standing there, with an amused expression.
"Miss Wentworth, this gentleman is Captain Croft."
She gave me an eager look, as if to ask, "Now, what do you think of him?"
I smiled at Mrs Hunt and said, "I have already met Captain Croft, Mrs Hunt."
"Oh, did you? What bad luck, I would have so wanted to introduce you, and now someone else has done it! Well, never mind. Take a seat, Miss Wentworth. What brings you here?"
I gave her an account of why I had come to Yarmouth, and she listened eagerly.
"So you are here with Miss Kennington? Have you met Miss Kennington, Captain Croft?"
Captain Croft, who had not said much yet, answered, "I have, Mrs Hunt."
"Such a pretty lady, and so accomplished she is, is she not, Miss Wentworth? Tell me, is she not engaged to be married yet? I have always wondered why she is not, after all, she is so pretty, and rather rich, too..."
"I do not know, Mrs Hunt." Of course I knew, but it was none of Mrs Hunt's business, so I kept the fact of Sarah's impending marriage to myself.
Mrs Hunt turned to Captain Croft again.
"My husband will be so sorry to have missed your visit, sir. I am sure he would have liked to see you. I will mention it in my next letter to him."
"Mr Hunt is at sea, then?" I asked.
"Yes, his ship set sail a week ago. They are bound for the Mediterranean, I think."
I gave her a rather puzzled look. "Do you mean to say you do not really know where your husband is going, Mrs Hunt?"
She laughed. "Well, one place is as well as the other, Miss Wentworth. I do not think I am supposed to know everything, am I?"
"Of course not, Mrs Hunt." Still, I wondered at her. How could a woman not care where her husband was going, especially in times like these?
"Does your wife always know where you are going, Captain Croft," Mrs Hunt asked.
"My wife? I am not married, Mrs Hunt," Captain Croft answered, frowning.
"Really? Strange..."
Captain Croft laughed. "What is so strange about that, Mrs Hunt?"
"I was sure you were - my husband said something like that once."
"If that was so, Mrs Hunt, your husband was mistaken. I am not married."
Mrs Hunt sighed and said to me, "What has become of those young ladies nowadays, I wonder? A man like Captain Croft running around, still unmarried? Can you imagine that any lady would be as stupid as to let him go?"
"Mrs Hunt!" I exclaimed, quite shocked.
Captain Croft gave a good-natured laugh.
"You flatter me, madam," he said. "I do not think I am quite as good a catch as you may believe. I'm only an old sailor, and I've been at sea for too long to know the ways of young ladies. I am afraid I am quite at a loss in their company. That does not make a very favourable impression."
I looked at him, in amazement. "I would not have noticed you being at a loss in ladies' company yesterday evening, sir. You were doing quite well."
He laughed. "You caught me, Miss Wentworth. In cases like this, I like to be contradicted."
"Flattered, you mean, sir," I said with a grin.
"Touche, Miss Wentworth," he said and rose. "I am afraid I will have to leave now, Mrs Hunt. Too bad your husband was not at home; I would have liked to meet him again. Please give my regards to him."
"I will, Captain Croft. Thank you for your visit, it is always nice to meet old friends again."
Captain Croft turned to me.
"Good bye, Miss Wentworth. My compliments to your family."
He took leave of us and left. Mrs Hunt turned to me.
"Now, did I promise too much when I told you Captain Croft was a charming gentleman?"
"He is charming, indeed," I said.
We spent the rest of my stay talking about the next assembly in Yarmouth. It would take place in two days, and Mrs Hunt was already looking forward to it.
"Do you think you will go there, too, Miss Wentworth?"
"I do not know, Mrs Hunt. Will you?"
"I certainly will, Miss Wentworth, and you should, too."
Then the servant came in and announced that Miss Kennington had come to pick me up. I therefore said good-bye to Mrs Hunt and got into the carriage.
*******
After Sarah had told me about her visit with Lady Reynolds, I gave her an account of what had happened at Mrs Hunt's. Sarah listened eagerly, but with an earnest expression. She seemed to study my face, my expressions.
"Take care of yourself, will you," she finally said, when I had finished my narrative.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I have watched you when you were talking about Captain Croft, and I have noticed the glow in your eyes when you mentioned him. I agree with you, he is an amiable gentleman, but do not forget he will not be here for long. Do not fall in love with a man who will be gone in two weeks, leaving you heartbroken. You deserve better than that."
Her look expressed true concern.
I gave that statement some thought. I was getting Sarah's point; I understood what she meant to say. I liked Captain Croft, and there was nothing wrong with that, but I did not think I was in danger of falling in love with him. Besides, he did not seem to be the sort of man who would hurt a woman's feelings like that.
"I do not think Captain Croft would hurt me." I did not notice I had said this aloud until I heard Sarah answer.
"Perhaps not intentionally, but what if you give way to your feelings like that and he has to leave you? Think of it. I just want you to be on your guard, Sophy."
I sighed. "I will take care of myself, do not worry, Sarah."
That evening I spent some time thinking about Sarah's warning. What if...? But then I cast that thought aside. I was too old, too intelligent to fall for a man like that. There was no reason to be worried. No reason at all.
Chapter 9
No reason to be worried, eh? - Just look at my husband, will you, he is sitting there and grinning all over his face! I am sure he is enjoying himself excessively. - Indeed, I am, Sophy. Go on!
*******
Edward arrived at home the following day about noontime, and I spent most of my time with my brothers. Having them both with me was - and still is - very rare, and therefore I enjoyed it thoroughly. There was still no clue as to who Edward was in love with. He did not inquire about any of the ladies we had met at the assembly, but he did inquire after Colonel Kennington's health. The undertone indicated that he was actually asking if Colonel Kennington would not soon go back to his regiment. His smile when he heard that the Colonel would soon be gone suggested that he could hardly wait. I wondered why that was so.
In the afternoon, Sarah, the Colonel and Sir Alexander came to pay us a short visit. Meanwhile, the news of Sarah and Sir Alexander's engagement had spread and they both accepted our congratulations gratefully.
"I cannot tell you how happy I am for you, Sir Alexander," I said. "I wish you both all the happiness in the world - you deserve it."
"Thank you, Miss Wentworth. Hearing this from you means a lot to me. I had the impression you did not like me at first."
I laughed. "Nothing will ever extract such a confession from me, Sir Alexander. Whatever my feelings may have been, they were changed as soon as I got to know you a bit better. I do not think Sarah could have found a better man to marry. You will suit each other very well."
He gave a sigh, and said, "I am still not sure if I can really believe in my own happiness, Miss Wentworth."
"Sometimes happiness is nearly as hard to endure as misfortune, Sir Alexander, but I am sure you will get used to it soon."
He laughed. "I am sure I will, Miss Wentworth. If I have the choice, I would rather endure happiness."
Then he was engaged in a discussion with my two brothers, and I was left to myself for a moment, until Colonel Kennington came over to me.
"How are you, Miss Wentworth? We did not have the chance to talk with each other much lately. What do you think of all this?"
"You mean your sister's marriage, Colonel? I am very happy for both Sarah and Sir Alexander."
"You approve of it, then?"
This was strange. It sounded as if he was not too happy with his sister's decision. This was worth some further inquiry, I thought.
"Do you not approve of it, sir?" If this was so, I wondered what his reason would be.
"I do, Miss Wentworth, sorry for giving you a wrong impression. I think that marriage, with the right partner, can lead to lifelong happiness."
Was this the same man who had claimed for years that he was not made for marriage? He was singing a different tune now...
"With the wrong partner it can lead to lifelong misery." I answered, smilingly, trying to test him. I wanted to know what his attitude really was.
"How is one to know, Miss Wentworth? How is one to know if a person is the right one?"
He sounded a bit depressed, and I was feeling uncomfortable. Sarah had been right, the Colonel had changed. It was not his usual, easy way of speaking. If he had assumed his half joking, half flirting manner in which he was talking to other women, I would have been able to deal with it, but this solemnity was not like him at all, and I did not know how to handle the situation.
"If one knew it beforehand, Colonel, there would be no such thing as unhappy marriages in the world. However, I think there are signs that can give us a hint or two, if we are careful enough to read them. You sound very earnest at the moment, sir, what has become of the Colonel Kennington I know?"
I had said this merrily to cheer him up, and was rather surprised at his reaction.
"I do not know what has become of him, Miss Wentworth. I wish I would," he said sadly.
Then he added, with a laugh, "I am sure I will be quite myself again once I have joined my regiment, Miss Wentworth."
"Let us hope so, sir, it does not do you good to be like that. You are not the brooding sort."
"Am I not? You do not know me that well, then, Miss Wentworth."
"You make it hard for people to know you, sir."
He gave me a strange look, but did not answer. The door opened and Mr Williams came in. Seeing me with Colonel Kennington made him jealous, it seemed, and he came to sit with us as soon as he had greeted the rest of the company and as soon as he could leave them without seeming rude.
As far as Mr Williams was concerned, there was no variety to his conversation topics to be expected, except that the assembly in Yarmouth was very prominent in his thoughts at that moment.
"Will you be there, too, Miss Wentworth," he asked. He was already the second person who had asked me to be there - just like Mrs Hunt the day before.
"I do not think my family have planned to go there, Mr Williams," I answered.
"You could go with us," Colonel Kennington said. "I am sure my sister will be delighted to have you with her."
I was sure Mr Williams did not approve of this scheme, but what could he say against it? He looked at the Colonel rather sullenly.
Sarah must have noticed that her brother had mentioned her, because she joined us to ask what the trouble was.
When the Colonel had repeated his suggestion to her, she agreed with him.
"Of course you should join us, Sophy, I am sure you will enjoy it. Bring your brothers, too, if you want. What do you think, Mr Wentworth, would you like to go to Yarmouth with us tomorrow?"
She had addressed Edward, who was now with us as well. After some consideration, he reluctantly agreed. Somehow I delighted in the prospect of going to the assembly with both my brothers and my friends. It was a pleasant scheme, even if we had to put up with Mrs Kennington and Mr Williams's presence. There has to be a flaw in everything, otherwise things would be too good to be true.
*******
Later, my mother asked me to help her in the garden. Whenever my mother asked me to do this, this meant that she actually wanted to have some serious talk with me without anyone listening - usually she was so fond of her garden that she would not want my help at all.
I followed her, carrying a basket, and wondered what the reason for this serious talk might be.
At first, my mother did not touch the subject; she tended to her roses (she was exceedingly proud of them, and they were the most beautiful roses for miles around, in fact) and gave me instructions as to gardening in general and growing roses in particular. I was already speculating if teaching me how to grow flowers was all she had in mind at the moment. I did not really object to it, my mother was a skilled gardener, and she was always happy in her garden. This meant that even if she had some serious matter to discuss with me, she would be more at her ease than usual.
Finally, she said, "Do sit down with me, Sophia, I want to ask you something."
We went over to a small bench in the orchard and sat down. I gave my mother a curious look.
She sighed. "Sophia, I know we disagree very often on different matters, but will you listen to me?"
She sounded unusually soft - normally her voice was rather loud and her tone demanding, but today she was different.
"Certainly, Mama. What is it?"
My mother did not answer at once, it seemed as if she wanted to gather her thoughts at first. Then she proceeded, "Sophia, there are rumours...people are talking about some particular friendship between you and Colonel Kennington."
I was dumbfounded. Rumours about Colonel Kennington and me? What could possibly have caused them?
"There are people who believe that you have some ... intentions of manoeuvring him into an offer of marriage."
"Me? Mama, this is ridiculous. I hope you do not believe one word of this! You know I have always treated Colonel Kennington with proper reserve, I was well informed about his reputation, after all. Do you really think I would so easily forget everything you have taught me about principles and self-respect?"
My mother looked as if a huge weight had been taken from her shoulders. She gave me a happy smile and said, "No, I would not have thought so ill of you. But I wanted to be sure about your feelings concerning this, and I wanted to tell you to be on your guard."
"You mean, even more on my guard than I have always been? I will, Mama, do not worry about that. Who is spreading these rumours, Mama? Do you know?"
"Mrs Kennington has told me about it when I last met her. She was so concerned about you, she asked me to warn you."
Mrs Kennington! Had she been there at the moment, I would have slapped her. How could she? What did she gain by ruining my reputation? There has not been such a scheming woman since Lucrezia Borgia, I thought. And even this infamous lady might have been happy to keep out of Mrs Kennington's way.
"Mama, you need not worry. I will be particularly careful as to how I deal with Colonel Kennington in the future."
Not to mention Mrs Kennington, the harpy...
"Good. Sophia, the state of affairs being as it is, I would advise you to seriously consider Mr Williams' offer."
Mr Williams' offer? Had I missed something?
"Mr Williams has never made me an offer of any kind, Mama. There is nothing to consider about him."
Mama nodded. "Of course, I am only talking of possibilities. I think Mr Williams will make you an offer soon."
Was my mother - in an unusually kind way - trying to press me into a marriage with Mr Williams?
"Mama, I do not think there is any need to discuss this at the moment, is there?"
"Very well." Mama rose. "Just think of your reputation, Sophy."
"I have done nothing wrong, Mama, and I have definitely not done anything so improper that only a hasty marriage could save me from public disgrace. I think the best thing will be to ignore the rumours and to show that there is no truth in this gossip by acting just as I always have."
Mama rose and asked me if I would go back into the house with her, but I wanted to stay alone for a while. I needed to think, I needed to find out what Mrs Kennington wanted to achieve by injuring me - and her own brother-in-law. What had I ever done to her?
True, there was no love lost between her and me, but I had never got into her way, and I had sometimes even told Sarah not to be too harsh with her.
I could not make out any reasonable explanation for Mrs Kennington's behaviour towards me. Did she want to spoil my chances of an advantageous marriage with Mr Williams? She could have spared herself the trouble, after all, I did not want an advantageous marriage with Mr Williams.
Perhaps she had talked to the Colonel about my "trying to trick him into marriage". It would, somehow, explain his behaviour in the past few weeks. Not all of it, but a great part of it. If he had had an ill opinion of me, he would rather have kept out of my company instead of deliberately seeking it...or perhaps he sought my company to find out if there was any truth in Mrs Kennington's statements?
The more I thought of it, the less sense I could make of it.
It was getting cool in the shade of the trees, but I did not really notice. Neither did I notice how much time had passed or what was happening around me, until I felt someone touch my shoulder. I started and looked behind me.
Frederick stood there, smiling at me and saying, "Do you mean to stay out here all evening? We were getting worried about you. What is the matter?"
Before I realised it, I had already told him the whole story. He listened intently, with an expression in his face that would have scared me, had I not known him so well. His eyes expressed both sympathy for me and anger at Mrs Kennington. Actually, it was more than anger, it was contempt.
"You know, Sophia," he said, after a short pause, "I would not worry about it too much if I were you. Those people who know you will know that the whole story is not true."
"But what about those who do not know me that well, or who do not know me at all?"
"Never mind about them, Sophia. One cannot be everybody's favourite, right? A very wise man once said that one should only believe what one sees with one's own eyes - those people who establish their judgement of others on gossip will never get very far."
"Who said that?"
Frederick laughed. "Captain Croft. Now, will you go in? You'll catch a cold if you stay out here much longer, and we will not do Mrs Kennington the favour of leaving you at home tomorrow evening."
************
Continued in Part 3
© 2001 Copyright held by author