The Tragedy of the DeBourghs
ACT 1 SCENE 1 --
[The parlor at Longbourn, Early 1800's, England]
Enter Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Bennet, and their two daughters, Elizabeth and Jane.
Mrs. Bennet: (rushing into the parlor) My dears, have you heard the news?
Mr. Bennet: What is it this time, Mrs. Bennet?
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, it is great for our two daughters!
Elizabeth: What is it, Mama?
Jane: Yes mother, please tell us!
Mrs. Bennet: Well, Netherfield estate has been rented at last to a young bachelor of a large fortune, almost four or five thousand a year, and he has a friend with him, also!
Mr. Bennet: That is wonderful. Maybe Lizzy and Jane will marry these handsome young men. What are their names?
Mrs. Bennet: Why Mr. Bennet, you have read my thoughts exactly!! To answer your question, their names are Bingley and Darcy.
Elizabeth: (giggling) Darcy...how romantic!
Jane: Oh Lizzy, you don't even know this man yet! Stop being so silly! That reminds me, mama, when is the next ball to be?
Mrs. Bennet: Tomorrow fortnight, at Meryton.
ACT 1 SCENE 2 --
[Lady Catherine's quarters at Rosings]
Enter Lady Catherine DeBourgh and her servant, Jo.
Lady Catherine: Jo, go and fetch my daughter Anne. I have some matters of great importance to discuss with her.
Jo: Yes, my Lady.
Five minutes later Jo returns, with Anne.
Lady Catherine: Thank you, Jo. Now go about your business.
Anne: (sniffling with a cold) What is it, mother?
Lady Catherine: Well my daughter, as you know your cousin Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy has just come to Netherfield with his friend, Mr. Bingley.
Anne: (sniffles) How wonderful!
Lady Catherine: Stop sniffling like that!! You know what this means, don't you?
Lady Catherine: Mr. Darcy is your betrothed. You have been born to marry him, and you must keep it that way! Now, go to your room, and think about how you shall present yourself at the next ball, so that you look attractive. Mr. Darcy shall be there, you know.
ACT 1 SCENE 3 --
[Anne's room at Rosings]
Anne: What to do? My mother is forcing me into a marriage I don't want! I only knew my cousin, Darcy, as a child. But my mother insists that I marry him. She only cares about keeping his money in our family, not if I love who I marry or not! For all I know, Darcy could have grown up to be a horrible, ugly, selfish man. On the other hand, he may also be kind and caring and beautiful...but then why would he want to marry me? I am a scrawny girl, with ratty red hair, no figure, and I always have the sniffles. All my life I have been a shadow of my mother, listening to everything she says, scared to voice my own opinion. But this is my life, and if I don't want to marry Darcy, I won't!
ACT 2 SCENE 1
[A week later, at the ball at Meryton]
Ballroom music is playing. Enter Elizabeth, Jane, Bingley, Darcy, and Anne DeBourgh.
Elizabeth: I wonder which ones are Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy?
Jane: (pointing) Maybe those two men over there are. They don't look too familiar.
Elizabeth: (looking horrified) Jane! Stop pointing! Now look, they are walking towards us!
Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy walk over to the two Bennet girls
Bingley: Pray tell me your name, madam.
Jane: My name is Jane Bennet. And you?
Bingley: I am Mr. Charles Bingley. May I have this dance?
Jane: You may.
They move on to the dance floor. Darcy walks over to Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: You must be Mr. Darcy.
Darcy: I am, what is your name?
Elizabeth: I am Elizabeth Bennet.
Darcy: Would you like to dance?
Elizabeth: Most certainly.
They dance the rest of the time.
Anne DeBourgh was at the ball, but remained by herself the entire night.
ACT 2 SCENE 2
[Jane and Elizabeth's room at Longbourn, the night after the ball]
Enter Jane and Elizabeth.
Jane: Wasn't tonight just lovely?
Elizabeth: Yes, what do you think of that Mr. Bingley you danced with all night?
Jane: (giggling) I think I am in love with him! What do you think of that Mr. Darcy? He sure was handsome enough!
Elizabeth: Yes, and rich and stylish, too.
Jane: Well then you will be happy to hear that Mr. Bingley said he would pay us a visit, and he would even try to get Darcy to come along!
They soon fall asleep.
ACT 2 SCENE 3
[The grounds of Netherfield, a day after the party at Meryton]
Enter Darcy and Bingley, walking with their dogs.
Bingley: Darcy, how did you find the ladies at Meryton?
Darcy: They were okay, not quite pretty enough to tempt me.
Bingley: Okay? I thought they were all perfectly lovely; especially Miss Jane Bennet. You didn't even like her sister that you were dancing with?
Darcy: She was all right, and the only one at that. I don't see what was so special about any of them, though.
Bingley: (talking dreamily) Oh, Jane was such an angel. I am thinking of offering my hand to her, Darcy. What do you think?
Darcy: Thinking she is an angel is bad enough! But marrying her! You have known the girl but a night! In my opinion, Bingley, you are crazy!
Bingley: I know I have only known her but a night. That is why we are going to Longbourn today, to pay a visit to the Bennets.
Darcy: Bingley, I am not going. I have other things to do, like catch up on my reading.
Bingley: Stop being sour. We are going to Longbourn. Wait, that's it!
Darcy: What's it?
Bingley: What you need to soften up a bit.
Darcy: (groaning) What now?
Bingley: You really need a girl, Darcy! Hold on a minute, I just remembered, aren't you betrothed to your cousin, Anne?
Darcy: You just had to bring that up, Bingley. I have been trying to get out of that marriage since I was old enough to speak! Anne is definitely not the woman for me! I would rather marry- I'd rather marry my own sister for god's sake!
Bingley: Darcy, don't speak that way, she cant be that bad. And if she is, you will find some way or another out of this marriage.
Darcy: Right now, it seems as if the only escape route is death! You know who Anne's mother is, right?
Bingley: Actually, I don't. It isn't...
Darcy: Yes, it's my aunt, Lady Catherine DeBourgh!
Servant: Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy, it is time for tea.
They all go inside for tea.
ACT 2 SCENE 4
[The hall in Rosings Park]
Enter Lady Catherine and Anne.
Lady Catherine: Anne! I can't believe that you sat in the corner the entire time at the ball! You know Darcy is very attractive, and you were supposed to dance with him the entire time so no other women would think that Darcy was theirs! Now I hear that my nephew was dancing with this Bennet girl all night. He will probably propose to her so that he can get out of marrying you! Why don't you ever listen to anything I say!?
Anne: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don't want to marry him!! I have spent my life doing everything you ask of me. I am an adult now, I can marry whom I want. And I will marry for love, and love only. Not for your selfishness! And I hope that Darcy does marry Miss Bennet, for they make a lovely couple!
Lady Catherine: (shocked beyond belief) Anne, I have never heard you speak this way! If that is the way you feel, then you don't have to marry Mr. Darcy.
Anne lets out a sigh of relief.
Lady Catherine: (screaming) But if my nephew marries anyone but you, he shall have to be killed! It is his duty to marry you; a law he was born to live by. And so he shall.
Anne: Mother I -
Lady Catherine: Silence!! Now go to your room, Anne, or I might kill you, too! (Laughs cynically to herself)
Anne rushes as fast as she can up to her room.
ACT 2 SCENE 5
[Anne DeBourgh's room]
Enter a crying Anne.
Anne: I can't believe my mother. She is truly the devil! I know what I must do. I will go to Mr. Darcy and warn him to run for his life. Now... I must figure out how to leave this prison without the Lady seeing me!
Anne resorts to climbing out the window. Luckily, she succeeds safely. Anne goes to the barn, takes her favourite horse, and begins her ride to Netherfield.
ACT 3 SCENE 1
[Longbourn parlor, about midday]
Enter Elizabeth and her cousin Mr. Collins, a clergyman.
Mr. Collins: Hello, my dear cousin. I was just on my way to town, when I thought it would be a good idea to stop and say hello. How have you been, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Well, it was certainly a surprise to see you here, Mr. Collins! Actually, I am quite well. Jane and I were expecting Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Collins: Well then, I shall try to make myself brief, because I do have a purpose in coming.
Elizabeth: What might that be, Mr. Collins?
Mr. Collins: As you know, my dear Lizzy, I am a clergyman and...
Elizabeth: What is your point, Mr. Collins?
Mr. Collins: Hush, let me finish, for there is a point; and one of great importance at that. Now, as I was saying, I am a clergyman and it is proper that every clergyman has a wife, right? Well, I have always found you quite beautiful, and...
Elizabeth: Mr. Collins please let me speak before you finish, for I do not wish to hurt your feelings. If you plan on offering your hand in marriage, let me first say that I greatly thank you for your compliments, but I do not have any wishes to marry you. I never have and never will. Please let us forget this ever happened and...
Mr. Collins: Please stop there. You would have said enough to hurt me at "no". If you don't mind, I shall be on may way now to Rosings. If you wish, I shall send the Lady your regards.
ACT 3 SCENE 2
[In a carriage, on the way to Longbourn]
Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley are in the carriage
Bingley: See, Darcy, I knew I could convince you into coming to Longbourn!
Darcy: Well, I've been thinking about, and maybe Lizzy isn't all that bad, and I guess you're right. I do need a woman's company.
Bingley and Darcy are ten minutes away from Longbourn, just as Anne realizes where they are. She leaves Netherfield as quickly as she can for Longbourn. Anne arrives at Longbourn within about 5 minutes, and rushes to find Lizzy.
ACT 3 SCENE 3
[Parlor at Longbourn]
Enter Anne and Elizabeth
Anne: (out of breath )Pardon me for barging in on you like this, Miss Bennet, but I have some horrible news that I must inform you of immediately. If you do not know who I am, I am Miss Anne DeBourgh, daughter of Lady Catherine, and for you to better understand, Fitzwilliam Darcy's cousin.
Elizabeth: Don't worry, you aren't barging in, pray, tell me what is the matter? You look horrible, as if you have been crying for weeks!
Anne: Well, it is a very long story, so I shall try to explain it as quickly as possible. I was supposed to marry Mr. Darcy. My mother has been planning this for years, and has always expected it to happen. Now that Mr. Darcy is here at Netherfield, my mother thought her wishes would finally come true. When she realized that Darcy had no interest in marrying me, she decided that he would die because of it, therefore we would inherit his money. But my mother also wants to kill you, for you are the one that Mr. Darcy probably loves! We must hurry back to Rosings, and stop my mother!
Elizabeth: I will leave a note For Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy so they will worry where I have gone, and then we shall go!
They leave right away for Rosings, to stop Lady Catherine from succeeding in her plans.
ACT 3 SCENE 4
[Longbourn, just after Anne and Elizabeth left]
Enter Darcy and Bingley, and a servant of the Bennet's, Hil.
Bingley: Hello, I am Mr. Bingley. We came to call on Elizabeth and Jane, if they are here.
Hil: Lizzy just left in a hurry, with Anne DeBourgh, for an unknown reason, but she left this note for you in case you came. Here.
Darcy: Anne? What on earth would she be doing here?! Read the note, Bingley.
Bingley: Ok: (clears throat)
To Darcy and Bingley,
I have some quite shocking news, I shall try to make it as brief as possible, for you must follow my advice. To put it bluntly, Mr. Darcy, your aunt wants to kill you. Please hurry to Rosings as quickly as possible, Anne and I will be waiting there; we need your help to kill Lady Catherine, and possibly Collins, for he is acting suspicious.
Sincerely, Elizabeth Bennet
P.S. your cousin Anne is to thank for this warning
Darcy: This is impossible! Come Bingley, let us hurry to Rosings, before Anne or Lizzy are hurt!!
Darcy and Bingley hop onto their horses and hurry to Rosings. They arrive at Rosings slightly before Anne and Lizzy, for a storm began, and held up the women.
ACT 3 SCENE 5
[The hall at Rosings, a bit before Darcy knows of his aunt's plans against him]
A storm is outside Enter Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine
Lady Catherine: Mr. Collins, just the person I wanted!
Mr. Collins: Lady Catherine, my mentor, I need your help! Elizabeth Bennet just refused my hand in marriage!
Lady Catherine: She what? You did what? Mr. Collins! Then you can help me! I am going to kill Fitzwilliam Darcy, for he will not marry my beautiful Anne, and you can help me! Elizabeth will not marry you because she loves Mr. Darcy, so we shall kill her too! What do think?
Mr. Collins: Isn't death a little, um, harsh? O well, if the Lady says death, I shall help with the kill!
Lady Catherine: We shall leave right now for- (there is a knock at the door) what is that noise at the door? I believe someone is here! Wait, Anne knows of my plans...she better not have left her room!
Mr. Collins answers the door, to find Bingley and Darcy. Darcy punches Mr. Collins in the face.
Mr. Collins: (whining) Lady Catherine, you were right. Darcy and Bingley are at the door. And Darcy just punched me!
Lady Catherine runs toward Darcy from the kitchen, with a steak knife in her hand, just as Anne and Lizzy arrive.
Lady Catherine: Anne! Why are you here? Darcy, you shall suffer for this! Betraying your family and their wishes!
Anne jumps in front of Darcy, saving his life but causing Lady Catherine to stab her own daughter.
Anne: (struggling for breath) I am sorry... I did not love you, Mr. Darcy, and I was not... good enough for you. Dies
Lady Catherine: (in a hopeless voice) Collins, get Darcy and Bingley. I must stay here.
Collins chases them, but Darcy, Bingley, and Lizzy get away safely. They retreat to Longbourn, to decide what to do about the situation at hand. Meanwhile, Lady Catherine stays at Rosings, horrified at what she has done, and pours out all her problems to Mr. Collins.
ACT 3 SCENE 6
Enter Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine, and a dead Anne staining the carpet.
Lady Catherine: (uncontrollably crying) Collins, Collins, come here. What have I done, I have killed my own dear daughter! Look at her, lying dead on the parlor floor like this. I never meant for it to happen, I only wanted her and Darcy married. Then she would have been rich and happy, and the money would stay within the family, just as I always planned with Darcy's mother! At heart, I didn't even want to kill Fitzwilliam, he is a good boy. I probably would have stopped myself if Anne didn't get in the way! Now, Collins, you must advise me. Should we stay at Rosings, and say Anne died of a sudden illness, or should we flee from this land? You are a clergyman, tell me what god wants!
Mr. Collins: (in a nervous voice) My Lady, I do not know what to do! True I am a clergyman, but not a priest! I think we should finish what we began, and kill Darcy and Lizzy. But that is only what I think. You are to decide!
Lady Catherine: Whatever you say, Collins. And if that is what you said, let's get to work.
ACT 3 SCENE 7
Lizzy, Bingley, and Darcy arrive at Longbourn after struggling to get through the storm. They rush to find Mr. Bennet and Jane, and the group begins to discuss what to do about Lady C and Collins
Elizabeth: (crying and looking all disheveled from the pouring rain outside) Father! Jane! Where are you two? Something horrible has happened, I need your help!
Jane rushes to her sister
Jane: Lizzy, what on earth happened to you? Are you all right?
Elizabeth: I'm ok, just...
Darcy: Calm, Elizabeth, it will be okay. Wait for your father to get here, and then I'll explain. Ah, Mr. Bennet, there you are.
Mr. Bennet comes down the stairs, looking as surprised as Jane did.
Bingley: Now that everyone is here, I guess I shall explain. Anne DeBourgh is dead.
Mr. Bennet and Jane have shocked looks on their faces and gasp.
Mr. Bennet: How did that ever happen? Did she catch a bad cold? Was she in an accident?
Mr. Bingley: You could say she was in an accident, and quite a horrible one, at that. Jane, you might want to sit down for this, for I don't want you fainting.
Jane sits on the couch
Mr. Darcy: Bingley, I don't mean to be rude, but do you mind if I finish the story? Bingley nods for Darcy to go on. Anne was stabbed. Stabbed by her own mother. Lady Catherine was trying to kill me, for I was betrothed to her daughter, but had no wishes of pursuing the marriage. Anne saved my life by jumping in front of me, but was killed herself in the process. After this occurred, Bingley, Lizzy, and I fled in fear that my aunt would try to kill us. We do not know what her plans are, that is why we came here and got you. All we know is Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins must be killed.
ACT 4 SCENE 1
[About two weeks later, at Rosings]
Enter Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins
Lady Catherine: Now, do you want to go over our plans one more time?
Mr. Collins: Yes, and after that, I think I shall have it down pat.
Lady Catherine: This is it. On Saturday morning, we will miss church to mourn Anne one last time. The Bennets will be at church, so at around noon, I will go and hide inside Longbourn, behind the front door. You shall go to Netherfield and find Darcy at home, then tell him he must hurry with you to Longbourn because Elizabeth was in an accident. Naturally, he will follow you. When you arrive to me, I will jump out and kill him. This is when we exit. When Elizabeth arrives and sees Darcy's dead body, she will only want death and therefore kill herself. Then we may as well flee to another county where we are not known, and live happily to a ripe old age until we die natural deaths.
Mr. Collins: Marvelous, simply marvelous! As usual, that was brilliant thinking my Lady. One more day and we can get to work! Except for one thing, why won't Darcy be at church?
Lady Catherine: My nephew? At church? He never went, and still doesn't. that shows why his thoughts are so bad today, and why he wouldn't marry Anne...
Collins: Well then, we are not to worry, everything will go perfectly!
ACT 4 SCENE 3
[Longbourn, 2 weeks after Anne's death]
Enter Elizabeth, Mr. Bennet, Jane, Darcy, and Bingley, sitting and talking.
Darcy: Everyone knows what we are doing about Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins now, right?
Elizabeth: On Saturday, we will all wait here for the enemy, except you, Darcy, who will stay at Netherfield to await Collins. All thanks to Jane, we now know the enemy's plan!
Jane: Oh Lizzy, you are talking like we are soldiers going to battle! Anyway, you are all such flatterers! Finding out Lady Catherine's plans wasn't too hard, seeing how no one mourns for two weeks, especially a cold-hearted person like the Lady! It was too obvious and I knew something was going on, so I investigated!
Mr. Bennet: Well, Lady Catherine should arrive here on Saturday at about noon. We will all hide in separate places; Lizzy and Jane upstairs, Bingley in the kitchen, and me, I will hide in the waiting room. Darcy, remember you must lead on Collins, which is luckily not a hard thing to do! Be very dramatic when he tells you Lizzy is hurt, god forbid.
Darcy: Yes, I know Mr. Bennet. Now we must discuss the more solemn topic, which is the actual killing process. We have decided on using knives, right?
Bingley: Knives sound appropriate, seeing how that is what Anne was killed with. But we don't know of the Lady's choice of weapon, so we must be sure to have everything perfect.
Darcy: Bingley is right. Although this is obvious, Elizabeth and Jane will not be involved in any fights, they are too precious to be harmed in any way.
Elizabeth: Thank you for the compliment, Mr. Darcy, but if I see anything bad happening that I can prevent, I will.
Darcy: Lizzy, during these two weeks I have known you, you have definitely shown yourself to be strong-willed, so you must be careful. Now, when I arrive with Collins, I will punch him to distract my aunt. While she tries to attack me, Bingley will jump from behind and stab her. Mr. Bennet, since you are old you will be on the lookout in case any plans change. Hopefully, this will be over quickly and none of us will be hurt. Now, we must get our rest so we are fully awake when this dreaded event takes place.
Exit Darcy, Bingley, and Mr. Bennet. Elizabeth and Jane remain to share their thoughts on the present events
Elizabeth: Jane, do you think our plan will work? I fear for the lives of Charles Bingley and Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Jane: Lizzy, dear sister Lizzy. I am confident in our plan. Remember that I am the one who overheard Collins and Catherine's plan. They are hopeless. It is so sad the way they will die. Oh, you know I hate these things!
Elizabeth: I know you are kind and gentle, and it would be best if you didn't watch us kill them. I will only fight if I must, to try and make the peace arrive quicker, Jane. Now, let's speak of happier things.
Jane: (dreamy voice) Like Mr. Bingley...
Elizabeth: (laughing) and Mr. Darcy....
Jane: (sits upright in her chair, in a questioning voice) You really like him, don't you Lizzy?
Elizabeth: Well, I guess I can tell you, you are my sister! At first I only admired him like a schoolgirl would, and I thought he was handsome. But now, we have been through so many things together in these two weeks, and shared so much. He is wonderful, Jane! I love Mr. Darcy with all my heart and I shall not sleep tonight for I fear tomorrow so. I have been praying every day that after this is all over, Fitzwilliam and I may make something of this. I only wish I could know his thoughts on me!
Jane: Oh, Lizzy, I never knew! Now you know how I have felt about Mr. Bingley all this time. I do wish you the best, and hope this will make something, but now we really must rest. Come upstairs to sleep, and goodnight, sister.
ACT 5 SCENE 1
[Longbourn, by the door]
Enter Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, and Jane.
Mrs. Bennet: My dears, one last time, why won't you come to church this morning? It is quite a disappointment to me, you know, and everyone will be talking if my family does not show up!
Mr. Bennet: Mrs. Bennet, we told you time and time again that we have some very serious matters to deal with this morning, and you must go to church! If you do not leave now, I may have to drag you!
Jane: Mother, please go, we will try to show up if we can, later. Just tell all the women that we caught a cold, but since you were not near us too much lately, you stayed healthy. That is all!
Mrs. Bennet: I am pleased to know I am so loved here! Don't worry, I'm leaving.
Exit Mrs. Bennet.
Elizabeth: Phew! That was impossible! Now...we have to wait for Bingley, and then get into our places. God, I feel like we're in a play or something! We rehearse, get in places, and so on!
Mr. Bennet: Lizzy, if it does seem like a play, this is opening night, and a lot more real than any "rehearsal". If I were you, I would become a lot more serious now, or stay upstairs the whole time.
Elizabeth: Don't worry, father, I am serious, and I'll be fine. Look, Bingley is here!
Jane: Charles, you are here. Is everything worked out with Darcy?
Bingley: Yes, Darcy is fine. He is going about his usual business. I assure you this will work out fine. Jane, did you hear what time Lady Catherine would begin her plan?
Jane: if I remember correctly, it was around noon, and as of now it is.... 11:35! Oh, we must hurry! Everyone, into your places!
Elizabeth: (mumbling to herself) I still say this is a play.
ACT 5 SCENE 2
[Rosings, about 11:00 am]
Enter Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins.
Lady Catherine: Ok, now Collins, you know what you are doing? Just tell Darcy that Elizabeth is hurt, and our plan will all go okay. We must leave now, or everything will be ruined.
Mr. Collins: Yes, yes my lady. I will go to Netherfield, and you will leave for Longbourn.
ACT 5 SCENE 3
[Netherfield, about 11:15 am]
Enter Mr. Darcy, who hears a knock at the door.
Darcy: Yes, I'm coming.
Mr. Darcy opens the door, to find Collins, just as planned.
Darcy: Why Collins, what are you-
Collins: (out of breath) Mr. Darcy! Please, hurry! It's Miss Bennet! She is in trouble!
Darcy: Elizabeth? Is she hurt?
Collins: I tried to stop it, Lady Catherine said we were going to Longbourn for a visit, to apologize for the rage 2 weeks ago, but she lied to me! Lady Catherine is holding Elizabeth and her family hostage, and if I didn't escape in time, I would be there too! We must hurry there as quickly as we can!
Darcy: Don't worry, I'll stop my aunt, and help save them!
Collins and Darcy leave for Longbourn.
ACT 5 SCENE 4
[Longbourn, 11:45 am]
Enter Mr. Darcy with Collins, Lady Catherine behind the door, Elizabeth and Jane upstairs, and Mr. Bennet and Bingley waiting to get revenge.
Just as Darcy opens the door, Lady Catherine jumps out from behind the door, holding a dagger.
Lady Catherine: Aha! You thought you would-
Darcy punches Collins and Mr. Bennet and Bingley run from their hiding places. Lady Catherine is shocked, Collins is knocked out on the floor, and the fight officially begins.
Lady Catherine: (furious look on her face) Darcy, you will not live to see the light of another day!
She runs towards her nephew with her dagger. Darcy is trying to kill Collins before he wakes up, and Bingley missed Lady Catherine. Mr. Bennet is trying not to get involved, and Elizabeth and Jane are watching from upstairs. Elizabeth sees Lady Catherine is going to succeed and prevail, so she runs down the stairs and grabs the knife from her father.
Elizabeth: (crying and raging with anger and fear) Whatever comes out of this craziness today, Fitzwilliam Darcy will not die!!
She runs and stabs Lady Catherine in the back, killing the pitiable but determined woman. Lady Catherine dies immediately, never speaking any last words. Darcy realizes what went on, spares Collins life, and turns to Lizzy.
Darcy: Elizabeth, what can I say? You-you saved my life.
Elizabeth: (crying) I only did what anyone would for the one they love.
Darcy: Elizabeth, will you- (talking to himself) no, it is not the time for this.
Elizabeth: What is it, Fitzwilliam, friend?
Darcy: I was just thinking, well, what are we going to do with these bodies? The Lady is dead, and Collins may as well be. We will get care for Collins later, he was but a shadow of the Lady, and does not deserve death. He is a good man at heart. Bingley, come here. And Jane and Mr. Bennet. Although her last few years were a bit unsound, my aunt was once a good woman. Unfortunately, her death was unavoidable. Killing Anne was the end, she never would have been happy anyway. Even though it seems unreal, the Lady's love for her daughter was very deep. She only wanted the best for everyone, but what she thought was the best, well wasn't. But this is not her funeral. We shall say that Catherine DeBourgh died of the same sudden disease as her daughter. Does anyone else have anything to say? If not, I am going to sleep.
ACT 5 SCENE 5
[Church, one month later]
Enter Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley.
Mrs. Darcy: Well, it's over. Wasn't that wonderful?!
Mrs. Bingley: I had been waiting for the day of our weddings ever since...(sounds sad) well, let's not speak of that day.
Mr. Bingley: (comforting voice) Don't worry, dearest, the day of our unmentionable sin will be fresh in all of our minds for some time. Don't let it get to you, Jane.
Mr. Darcy: If anything, you should think of it as a wonderful day in our lives.
Puzzled looks on Mrs. Darcy and Mr. & Mrs. Bingley.
Mr. Darcy: Without Anne's death, and the planning and acting out of Lady Catherine's, these two new couples, known as the Darcy's and Bingley's, may have never happened. We became so close during those two weeks, Elizabeth. And Jane and Bingley, too. All of you, wife, sister, and dearest friend, promise me that whenever you think of those two weeks of your lives, just think of how you might have not ended up the way you are now, happily married forever.
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