Kitty finds a way

Part 1 Prologue

"Mama"

'Yes. What is it Kitty?" Mrs. Bennet queried.

"I was just wondering if I may be allowed to go and visit Maria at Lucas Lodge today?"

"Well, ...yes, I guess so. I had planned on working on adding some new frills to my dress today, but I guess that it can wait until tomorrow. But you must be back by suppertime as we are having roast pheasant tonight and you know how your papa gets whenever he has to wait too long for supper. That reminds me, I need to speak with Hill about the vegetables. Oh Hill! ...Hill! Where is Hill?"

"Thanks, mama. I'll run up and get my bonnet and cape and be on my way."

"Yes, yes. That's a good girl. ...And take care and don't step in any of the mud puddles and get your skirt all messed up like your sister Lizzy. You know that it rained quite hard yesterday and there may be some bad places along the way."

"Yes, mama. I'll be careful."

Kitty replied as she went up the stairs to her room to fetch her walking clothes. It had been nearly two weeks since her sister Lydia had left for the north with her new husband. Kitty had become rather lonely during the past months. Gathering her bonnet and tying it with a pretty bow, Kitty then wrapped the cape around her shoulders and set out on her way.

Part II A walk to Lucas Lodge

As she stepped gingerly along the path, careful to avoid small puddles of water from the rain, she began to think back over the past several months. Being the 4th child in a family of five girls, Kitty often felt left out of everything. Lydia, her younger sister was her mothers' favorite and Kitty had found her easy ability to attract men friends quite daring. Lydia was always chasing after one beau or another. When Colonel Fosters' Regiment had been encamped at Meryton there were daily encounters with all of the young officers. Kitty had even liked several of the men, especially Mr. Sanderson. But now they were all gone away. The Regiment had gone to Brighton, Lydia and Wickham to his new Regiment in the north. Whatever am I to do?

There had been so many changes over the past several months. It had all started two months ago when the Regiment removed and Lydia had gone to stay with Colonel Forster's wife. It was so unfair. Kitty was two years older, but had been denied the ability to go along. It had sounded so exciting. The opportunity to continue her friendships with all of the officers, and especially the opportunity to do a little sea bathing. Kitty had never been sea bathing, but had heard many exciting things about it that she knew that she wanted to give it a try.

Lydia's letters to her had at first told of the many exciting parties and events that she was attending, but then it had become increasingly clear that Lydia had developed an attachment for George Wickham. Kitty blushed again as she remembered some of the things that Lydia had told in her letters. But then Lydia always was one to do anything with the men. Certainly more than Kitty might ever think of doing. But then with the news of Lydia's elopement the entire Bennet household had been turned topsy-turvy. Every few minutes her mother would run from one room to another and be constantly complaining of her nerves.

Her father had received the news and become quite upset. Why he even got out his prized set of dueling pistols and polished them up before leaving for London. Kitty's mind began to spin as she thought of all of the various scenes at home that never seemed to come to an end. Then, somehow, it had been discovered that Lydia had confided some of her plans to Kitty in her letters and everything had started all over again. Kitty was in tears as she thought back to the scene in the library when Mr. Bennet had even hollered at her upon the discovery of the letters. He had forbidden her to associate with men, and warned that he would never again allow an officer to enter his home. Even her older sister Jane had looked at her with a scowl when she talked of Lydia.

Kitty kicked at a loose pebble along the road in her frustration. "What is the use? I just will never understand," she mumbled to herself. "Why, Mr. Wickham was quite well liked when he was here with the Regiment. At one point even Lizzy seemed to be falling in love with him. And Lydia had told me everything in confidence. I just don't see how everyone could blame that all on me."

It was a pleasant day as Kitty walked along thinking to herself. Squirrels could be seen scampering along the road as they gathered some nuts and then hopped back up into the trees soon lost to sight amid the yellowing leaves of fall. A cool breeze caressed her cheek and caused her bonnet ribbon to flutter bringing back some more pleasant memories.

It had seemed that she was living in the midst of a nightmare that would never end. Jane had written to her sister Elizabeth, who was on a holiday with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in Derbyshire. Ever since Lizzy had returned things had seemed to improve somewhat. Lizzy brought some semblance to peace back to the house. Kitty admired her older sister Lizzy very much and had often wished that she could be more like her. She had such a pleasing way of speaking with everyone. Her wit had always been her most valuable ally. Why even papa seemed to like her the most among all his children. Aunt Gardiner had also helped to bring the house back to a more reasonable sense of order.

"Oh, why can't things be like they used to be?" Kitty mused to herself as she walked along. With the constant turmoil there had been little time for her to be able to sort things out in her mind. "But no. Why even think about it? Lydia has gone and I probably wont see her again for at least two or three years. She will probably be an old married lady by then and have two or three children and not be any fun at all."

The turmoil and problems of the Bennet household continued to swirl around in her mind as she caught sight of the outlines of Lucas Lodge at the end of the path ahead. "Oh, well. At least I still have one friend in the area that I can visit. Maria has always been nice to me and I'm sure we will have a good visit today."

Part III A Conversation With Maria

Upon arriving at the Lucas home, Kitty raised the clapper and knocked several times. Shortly the butler arrived and greeted her at the front door.

"Good day, Miss Bennet. May I announce you to Mr. or Mrs. Lucas?"

"Oh, no." Kitty responded. "I was just wanting to drop by for a time and speak with Maria. Is she inside?"

"Why no. I believe that Miss Maria is outside in the flower garden. If you will walk around that path you should find her there."

"Thank you." Kitty replied as she turned and walked down the path leading around to the side of the Lodge.

Upon turning the corner she caught sight of Maria, who was sitting on a bench working with arranging some flowers in a vase.

"Hello, Maria. I am come to visit for a while, if you have some time."

"Oh, Kitty. This is a most pleasant surprise. Yes, I would love to visit with you today. It is so lonely around here with my sister Charlotte gone. Although I have several brothers, you know they are not much fun to talk to. They just want to go hunting or fishing or play out in the fields. I hardly ever have anyone to talk with anymore."

"Yes. I know just what you mean. With Lydia gone I am left alone. Mary only wants to read in her books, Jane and Lizzy too occupied with themselves these days and mama is always in a tizzy, no matter what the subject, with her nerves. I just don't seem to be able to find any peace at home."

"Well, let us have a good visit then," Maria cried. "Why don't you don't you come over and sit with me. I'm just working on arranging some flowers for the supper table. We could sit and talk for a time and have a good time."

"Oh, Maria. It is all so frustrating. You know how mama gets when things are out of the ordinary. First it was Lydia running away, then Papa going to London, and all the while we had the four Gardiner children visiting while Aunt and Uncle and Lizzy were on Holiday in Derbyshire. Things are better now that Lizzy is home, the Gardiners are returned to London, and Lydia is now married and moved to the north with Mr. Wickham. But, ...Oh, I just don't know what I shall do." A tear crept out of one eye and gently rolled down her cheek.

"Come now, Kitty." Maria offered supportively. "I know how much that you and Lydia got along together. It was the same with Charlotte and I. We were great friends and shared all of our thoughts and dreams. Now I have no one to speak with and I get rather lonely at times myself. Charlotte writes on occasion, but it is just not the same. Her letters are full of things that Lady Catherine is telling her to do, or how she and Mr. Collins are getting along. But then you have other sisters. What of them? Are none of your other sisters able to share with you?"

"That is just it, Maria. Mary reads her books; Jane and Lizzy seem more to themselves these days. None of them ever wants to walk to town or have any fun. You know that since last year when Mr. Bingley left Jane has just seemed to mope around the house. I know that she was in love with him and is suffering because of it. She hides it well, but there are many times, late at night when I can hear sobs coming from her bedroom. I feel so sad for her and feel that she may die of a broken heart."

"Oh Kitty, that is so sad to hear. Jane has such a tender, loving heart."

"And even Lizzy! I've never seen her so out of sorts as she has been lately. She is always so happy-go-lucky. I could always depend on her to cheer me up when I got down, but now she seems to sit alone in her room or look out the window as if she were expecting something."

"Oh my. That doesn't sound like her to me either. But then I do remember when we were visiting with Charlotte at Hunsford Lizzy did act kind of strange then too."

"Is that so? Can you tell me about it?" Kitty queried.

"Hmm..." Maria paused for a moment trying to organize her thoughts and then continued. "Well, it's kind of hard to describe ...but ...well I guess there were those times when we had been to Rosings and visited with Lady Catherine, a very terrifying lady if you ask me, and sometimes Lady Catherine seemed to be rude to Lizzy. Like when Lizzy played the fortepiano for us and Lady Catherine would tell her she needed to practice more. I could tell that Lizzy was insulted, but took it kindly and did not return her rudeness. I just don't know how I could do that. I work very hard on my piano lessons but Lizzy can play so much better than I can. While it is true that she may not play as well as some of the concert artists that I have heard, she does play quite well."

"Yes. I did not learn to play myself, since my older sisters were always practicing all day long there was never any time for me. I do wish that I could learn to play."

"Well, during the first few weeks we stayed with Charlotte everything seemed to go well enough. Lizzy would walk out every day and then sometimes in the afternoon we would get invitations to visit the great house at Rosings. They served us very good meals. Usually there were as many as 10 courses to each dinner. I never thought that I would eat so much. Lady Catherine has the most excellent cook." Maria paused, lost in the remembrance of several fine meals.

"But then after Mr. Darcy and his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam came to visit..."

"Why, Maria. I did not know that Mr. Darcy had been at Rosings. Lizzy never mentioned it to us in her telling about her visit with your sister."

"Oh yes. Mr. Darcy and the Colonel came in April and stayed for several weeks. The Colonel was such a pleasant gentleman. I really enjoyed his company. But do you know they came to visit us at the parsonage the very day that they had arrived at Rosings. I thought it a great honor at the time. They both seemed eager to visit with your sister. Mr. Darcy less so, but Colonel Fitzwilliam sat at the table and talked with her for quite a bit. At one point Mr. Darcy went over and spoke to Lizzy, but then turned away and looked out the window."

"You say they came that very first day. I don't understand. Did they have an appointment to visit with Mr. Collins? Why would they come over to visit before they had even time to rest from their long trip from London?"

"Well, the Colonel told Lizzy that he had heard a great deal about her before they met. I know that they did not have time for Lady Catherine to talk about her, so it must have been Mr. Darcy that had informed him. You know, Mr. Darcy does stare at Lizzy quite a bit. I even overheard Charlotte telling Lizzy that she thought that Mr. Darcy must be in love with her, but he hardly ever talks, so it is hard to know anything for sure. It could be that he is just absentminded and is not really looking at anything and Lizzy just happens to be there, but then...."

"Oh, shush Maria. You know that Lizzy simply hates the man. Especially after he was so rude to her and made that comment about her 'not being handsome enough to tempt him."

"Yes, that is true.... But you know, Kitty, I sometimes just wonder myself. Did you notice that at the Netherfield ball Mr. Darcy only danced with one person all night long, and that was with your sister?"

"No. That cannot be. Surely you are mistaken. Did he not dance with Mrs. Hurst, or Caroline Bingley? I thought surely he must have danced with one of them." Kitty cried.

"No, and of that I am sure. Mr. Darcy was truly the most handsome gentleman there that evening and I wanted to dance with him myself. Anyway, I did observe him all evening long. He stood off to the side and often watched Lizzy as she danced with Mr. Collins or had punch with Jane. No, it was most disappointing, as I had hoped that he might even ask me. At one point, before the Gavotte, he went out of his way to go completely across the room to ask Lizzy to dance while she was speaking with Charlotte."

"Hmm... That is true, but then the next morning Mr. Collins proposed to Lizzy and Mama got really upset when she did not accept his offer."

"Oh Kitty... I just don't think I would like to marry a man like Charlotte's husband. He doesn't seem to have all of his senses at times. But Charlotte seems to get along with him well enough. I do wish that we could have stayed longer at Hunsford. In fact I did think that we were going to at one point. Lady Catherine had asked us to stay an additional two weeks and she was even going to take us into London in her Barouche. It was SO exciting!"

"What happened?"

"Lizzy would not agree. Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam had been scheduled to leave 2 weeks before but had kept putting it off. Mr. Darcy just did not seem like he wanted to leave for some reason. I know that he is supposed to marry Lady Catherine's daughter Anne, but I never saw them talking to each other, so I don't think it was because of her. Then one evening Lizzy had a headache and stayed home while the rest of us went to Rosings for dinner. We had roast duck that evening, it was quite good. Mr. Darcy did not come to dinner with us as usual. I don't know where he was, but he did return home just as we were getting ready to return to the parsonage.

"Anyway, when we returned that evening your sister seemed all out of sorts. I don't know what upset her but she looked all pale and like she had been crying. The next morning she went out for a stroll very early and then she was gone for hours. Mr. Darcy and Colonel decided to leave that morning and came to say their farewells. Mr. Darcy only stayed for a moment but Colonel Fitzwilliam stayed for over an hour waiting on Lizzy to get back from her stroll. It got very late in the morning and finally he gave up and left. When Lizzy got back she acted very strangely when I told her that the gentlemen had called to say goodbye. She told me that she would not miss them at all and stormed up to her room and slammed the door. Then that next morning Lady Catherine asked us to stay, but Lizzy said that she had received a letter from her father asking her to come home. I don't ever remember any posts coming for Lizzy while we were there. It was all so strange."

"Oh Maria, that is not like Lizzy at all. What could it mean?"

"Well, there were many times when Lizzy would go out for a walk and then come back and tell us that she had encountered Mr. Darcy along the way. It seemed that no matter which way she would start out, he would suddenly be there along the path, sometimes stopping to talk to her, other times just tipping his hat and walking away."

"Kitty, I am not sure but Charlotte did say several times that she thought that Mr. Darcy was in love with her, but he never talked much - so how is one to know. ...But perhaps you can watch your sister more closely and determine what is happening. I thought at one point that Colonel Fitzwilliam might propose to her, but Charlotte says that he does not have much money of his own and therefore must take great care that the lady he marries should have a fortune of her own."

"Well, Maria. You have been a good friend and I have enjoyed our visit today. It is getting late and Mama told me that I had to be sure and be home on time today, as she is having a special meal today. Perhaps you can come and visit me next week and we could talk some more."

"Yes, I would like that. I will speak to mother and find out when I can come and let you know. Good bye."

"Good bye," Kitty replied taking her leave. On the walk back home Kitty had much to think over from the afternoons intercourse with Maria. The news was so intriguing that Kitty determined to be more observant of her older sister to see if she could find out anything else.

Part IV Suspicions

So... Mr. Darcy had been at Rosings and Lizzy had never mentioned it. Lizzy was the only lady that Mr. Darcy had danced with at Netherfield... how extraordinary. And another fact that Kitty had not discussed with Maria was that Aunt Gardiner had mentioned that Lizzy and Aunt and Uncle Gardiner had visited Mr. Darcy's Estate at Pemberley while they were in Lambton. And then what about all of the walks at Hunsford? Why would Mr. Darcy be constantly seeking Lizzy out to walk with her?

Kitty mused over these matters to herself on the way home. Thinking to herself that even though she did not like Mr. Darcy herself since he seemed so stiff and stuck up, perhaps there was more to this than she had previously thought.

Arriving home she found her mother in a tizzy, having just been informed by Mrs. Phillips that Mr. Bingley was to return to Netherfield in the next few days. This news seemed to cause Jane a bit of consternation as Kitty could see her blushing whenever Mrs. Bennet would tease her about getting Mr. Bingley to come over to visit.

During the next several days Kitty was distracted from her thoughts about Lizzy due to the arrival of Mr. Bingley at Netherfield and then three days later to see both Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy riding up to the house. Then Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley came to supper one evening. The next day Mr. Bingley had come very early in the morning, even before everyone had gotten dressed. They had all hurried up to go down and sit with him and then that very morning he had proposed to Jane. It was all so romantic.

Kitty could now see how happy Jane was, skipping about the house with her the happiest of smiles. But Kitty did notice something else that was most peculiar about Lizzy. Lizzy had taken to practicing the piano more than she had in the past. She had stopped at the music publishers in London on her way home from Rosings and bought several new pieces. One afternoon Kitty stopped to listen as Lizzy practiced and for the first time noticed the words of the song that Lizzy was singing.

What is my love doing?
Why does he not come?
Does he wish to see me
Languish like this?
Oh, how slowly
The sun takes its course!
Each moment
Seems like a day to me!
Yes, my heart,
I feel you beating so!
I know that you mean to complain,
That you are in love.
Ah, silence your grief,
Endure your suffering.
Silence it, and do not betray
My feelings!
Tell me, my darling, that you love me,
Tell me that you are mine,
And I shall not envy the gods
Their divinity!
With one single glance,
Darling, with a smile
You open a paradise
Of happiness for me!**

**Beethoven: The Impatient Lover WoO 124 (1812)

Kitty returned to her room, her thoughts filled with compassion for her sister. Kitty could see what was in her sister's heart without ever speaking to her.

Part V Lady Catherine is rude to Lizzy

One afternoon Mr. Bingley and Jane along with the Bennet ladies were sitting in the drawing room enjoying a pleasant tete-a-tete when a very large carriage had driven up. Mr. Bingley and Jane had left to take a walk outside in the shrubbery upon her arrival. Lady Catherine had come in and then walked out to the little cove in back to speak with Lizzy privately. Kitty returned to her room to see if she could observe anything. From the distance she could see Lady Catherine and she seemed to be arguing with Lizzy. Kitty could not hear what was being said but could see that her emotions seemed to be running quite high. After a while Lizzy turned to leave Lady Catherine and was coming back to the house with Lady Catherine shouting at her from the top of her lungs. Kitty felt so afraid for Lizzy. How dare this woman come to our home and speak so rudely to Lizzy. As they crossed the lawn Kitty could begin to make out some of the words and was shocked and mortified by their vehemence and tone:

``You have no regard, then, for the honour and credit of my nephew! Unfeeling, selfish girl! Do you not consider that a connection with you must disgrace him in the eyes of everybody?''

"Lady Catherine, I have nothing farther to say. You know my sentiments.''

``You are then resolved to have him?''

``I have said no such thing. I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me.''

``It is well. You refuse, then, to oblige me. You refuse to obey the claims of duty, honour, and gratitude. You are determined to ruin him in the opinion of all his friends, and make him the contempt of the world.''

``Neither duty, nor honour, nor gratitude have any possible claim on me, in the present instance. No principle of either would be violated by my marriage with Mr. Darcy. And with regard to the resentment of his family, or the indignation of the world, if the former were excited by his marrying me, it would not give me one moment's concern -- and the world in general would have too much sense to join in the scorn.''

``And this is your real opinion! This is your final resolve! Very well. I shall now know how to act. Do not imagine, Miss Bennet, that your ambition will ever be gratified. I came to try you. I hoped to find you reasonable; but, depend upon it, I will carry my point.''

Kitty resolved that if ever she would have the chance she would help Lizzy in any way that she could, but she knew not how or when an opportunity would arise that could occasion her desire.

Part VI Resolution

Then several days later the family was again surprised one morning when Mr. Bingley arrived for his daily visit with Jane and he had brought along Mr. Darcy who had just returned from a 10-day trip to London. Mr. Bingley had proposed that they all walk out to Meryton. Mary had begged off, but Kitty was anxious to go walk along behind and observe Lizzy and Mr. Darcy together before she would act.

The group started out for Meryton with Mr. Bingley and Jane in front. Darcy, Lizzy and Kitty were soon left behind as Jane and Bingley walked faster than the rest of the party. Kitty walked a bit behind Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth resolved to watch her sister closely. They had not walked far when she began to notice how Mr. Darcy would glance over at Lizzy furtively every few steps and then look quickly away. Lizzy seemed to look down at the ground quite often and then clasp her hands behind her back and then twist the ribbon of her bonnet. She seemed to be struggling to find a way to speak with Mr. Darcy and he seemed to be having the same problem. Suddenly, an idea struck her... 'They need to be alone for a few moments, but how is that to be possible. I can't just walk off like Jane and Bingley. What am I to do?' After walking a bit further Kitty noticed that they were just passing a path that led down towards Lucas Lodge.

"Lizzy!" Kitty called out to her sister in front. "Would you mind very much if I were to walk down and visit with Maria. I hate to leave you alone, but fear that it may be several days before I have another opportunity."

Kitty could see the relief on both of her companion's faces as they turned to her.

Lizzy then replied "Why, no. That would be fine. We will just continue on to Meryton and meet you when we return home."

Kitty then turned up the path and separated herself from them. As she came to a bend in the road she turned to see if she could still see them. To her surprise they were still standing where she had left them and seemed to be engaged in conversation. Shortly thereafter she saw the biggest smile break out on Mr. Darcy's face. He seemed overjoyed at some event and Lizzy was looking up at him equally happy. Kitty silently watched as they both turned and quietly began to walk towards Meryton. They seemed at peace, occasionally bumping into each other as they strolled along.

Kitty smiled to herself. She was happy for Lizzy, no matter what others might think. "Well," she thought to herself "Wont this be the talk of the town when word gets around. I wish that I could tell someone but I shall just have to hold it to myself until Lizzy makes it known to our family."

"'Tra-la - Tra-la' What a great day it is."

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