] Elinor does urge Marianne to exert herself, but in this case it is not so much for the sake of propriety and social appearances. Instead it is urged for their mother's sake, with the idea of sparing her the grief she would surely suffer to see Marianne like this.

This is one time when I really do feel for Marianne and think Elinor is expecting too much.

She is urging to Marianne to exert herself the very same day Marianne's world has crumbled around her. I think anyone - even Marianne! - deserves at least one day of wallowing. ;-)

] The reply is a typical Marianne-ism: "How easy for those who have no sorrow of their own to talk of exertion!"