] it shows that her sensibility and sensitivity extend only to that which concerns and interests herself, [snip] Her tone here is so absolutely condescending;

Precicely my reason for comparing her to Fanny. (-;

] she makes it so clear that she considers that notion of a match between herself and Brandon as insulting and ridiculous beyond description,

On this point she's right insofar as this; at this point in her life, she's not looking for a man like Col. Brandon.

} while completely ignoring the fact that her comments must be a little painful to her mother as well.

On this point you're showing great restraint and understatement. (-;

] Harsh censure, indeed! ;o) I suppose I am a little more lenient here; Marianne may be selfish, immature, insensitive, snotty, &c., but she lacks Fanny's conniving cruelty. Marianne inflicts pain inadvertently, because she does not see beyond the fog of her own notions, but Fanny is deliberately cruel.