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Written by BarbaraB
(10/17/2009 1:54 p.m.)
in consequence of the missive, Jane Austen's Marianne, penned by Bridget D
No seducer worth his mettle is going to come out and just ask for it! Unless a female just falls into his arms he uses finesse. Will it take a couple of days, a couple of weeks or perhaps a couple of months? As he builds up the relationship the perpetrator can gage how fast or slow to go, when to say what and where. For someone like Marianne I can guarantee that it will not be as they are eating dinner or sitting around conversing or some such mundane thing. If the question need be asked at all, it will be in the heat of the moment. The whole thing is usually carried out in degrees, a period of flirtation, sizing her up, and how long it will take depends on the victim and what kind of access he has to her.
The age of consent doesnít matter in these situations. Men made the laws and they made them to suit a manís world, their purposes, without much regard for females. The philosophy here is, ďAt 12, if they say okay, cool with us.Ē It doesnít matter to them that this is ridiculous and in essence making rape legal. There are men walking around who would love to have the age of consent be even younger if they had their way. Young girls, many above todayís age of consent, are just not ready because they feel they are ready to experience passion and simply dying to wear Cinderellaís crown. Men of honor and character understood all this and did not run around trying to sleep with young girls just because they could get them to do so and consent was on their side.
And just teaching and knowing the codes of behavior and doctrine of morality, which obviously was and always is very important, is not enough for young girls grounded more in sensibility than good sense. Some kids learn the definitions for onomatopoeia, hyperbole, personification, etc. and can apply it just from being given the rules of usage. Others learn the definitions and can not apply it without practice, can not pass tests on it though they can cite the rules perfectly. For an Elinor or a Fannie Price, just teaching the rules is enough, in general, for they are well grounded in sense. For the Mariannes, teaching the rules without practice/experience while growing up, well, when the world comes knocking bringing wolves in sheepís clothing, they do what they have always believed in and have aways done, just go with what their feelings dictate. This makes them gullible and vulnerable along the lines of:
I donít see anything wrong with a ride in an open carriage through the countryside. Oh, my God, he wants to kiss me (swoon). So whatís the harm in a little kiss. Too cool, kissing is fun, and such a pleasure (...I should have been sensible of it at the time, for we always know when we are acting wrong, and with such a conviction I could have had no pleasure.").... and there you go.
While sheís still having fun and swooning, she doesnít have a clue how quickly heís probably catapulting toward the point of no return and determined to have his way. She doesnít know how quickly she might follow to this point herself. If her passion is not engaged enough to want to go forward, he knows how to finesse his way past Ďnoí and take her just to the point of forcing her if need be. He might well even force her. Unless a pregnancy results from it, he knows she's not likely to tell because society will censure her and not him. On top of that, some are skilled enough to persuade her to believe she wasnít forced, or that she shouldnít have teased him and even thatís it her fault. Whoís to say how many woman were used in such a fashion and no one ever knew?
I can see where youíre coming from. I canít say there were never any young girls who didnít know exactly what they were doing or thought they didnít care whether something was wrong or not and what other people thought about them. But most, sooner or later, regret it. You donít get a do-over. Society, whether by, or a combination of, honor, character, laws depending on the time in history, was suppose to protect them from a time when they didnít really know their own minds, only thought they did.
I know this post will not effect any essential change in your feelings on the subject but just thought I'd present my side of the issue. :)
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