Age difference

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Age difference Written by Barbara (10/7/2009 1:02 p.m.) in consequence of the missive, ranging over town, penned by Bridget D

While it is probably true that Eliza and her friend were out and about in Bath, looking for whatever type of amusement they could find, the fact that she was 16 (she's 17 by the time Brandon tells the story) and Willoughby was 25 at the time this happened, makes him virtually 100% to blame in my opinion. He knew better. She didn't.

Yes, she may have been told to guard her virtue, etc. but we must also assume, considering that Eliza still loves him nearly a year later and doesn't want to confess his name to Colonel Brandon, that he convinced her that he felt a great deal more for her than he evidently did.

To her, he was a gorgeous, charming man saying all the right things, probably flattering her and being his uncommonly attractive self--in exactly the way that he did with Marianne and Miss Grey and who knows who else. For her to still be in love with him after all that time and all that happened, who knows what he might have said to her and seemed to have promised her? I can't imagine Eliza had ever even met anyone who treated her that way, spoke to her that way or made her feel that way before (just like Marianne). How was she to know that it was an amusement to him, that he didn't really mean it, that what he seemed to promise would never have happened?

Back in Ch. 13, there was this exchange between Marianne and Elinor following the ill-judged visit to Allenham:

"I am afraid," replied Elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety."

"On the contrary, nothing can be a stronger proof of it, Elinor; for if there had been any real impropriety in what I did, I should have been sensible of it at the time, for we always know when we are acting wrong."

But Marianne, as it turns out, didn't know that what she was doing was imprudent and wrong. In S&S 3, this scene showed Willoughby kissing Marianne while they were alone there, and possibly contemplating more. I think that might very well have been like what could have happened. Why should Eliza have known any better?

But Willoughby did know--he's older and he's experienced in these matters. Willoughby puts on a great act. He totally convinced Marianne and her mother, and nearly convinced Elinor of his feelings for Marianne. He's very, very, much more blameable.

I can't say he's 100% to blame, because Eliza did give in to whatever persuasion he used on her, and I'm not convinced Marianne would have before they were married. But again, how much can a 16 year old girl know what she's actually consenting to until it's too late?

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Willoughby and Eliza: More questions than answers... Jeffrey (10/1/2009 12:36 p.m.)

Highly unlikely to be premeditated! Barbara (10/1/2009 1:31 p.m.)
Bath CarolTS (10/1/2009 1:26 p.m.)
- Bath and Eliza Bridget D (10/3/2009 6:08 a.m.)
  - Bath Rachel G (10/3/2009 2:02 p.m.)
    - Eliza's mother Barbara (10/3/2009 3:55 p.m.)
      - Wondered if I had missed something!   CarolTS (10/3/2009 3:59 p.m.)
        
        Well....   Rachel G (10/3/2009 5:14 p.m.)
        
        A life of sin   Barbara (10/3/2009 10:07 p.m.)
        
        Eliza's life of sin   Bridget D (10/4/2009 5:10 a.m.)
  - We know she wrote this book before Emma CarolTS (10/3/2009 12:50 p.m.)
- Nuts! And I read Ch 31 so carefully, I thought.... Jeffrey (10/1/2009 2:46 p.m.)
  - I would imagine... Reeba (10/1/2009 4:19 p.m.)
    - Good Point; Is Willoughby a "predator?" Jeffrey (10/1/2009 5:03 p.m.)
      - What about the girls?   Outi (10/5/2009 2:42 p.m.)
        
        Predators are Opportunists   Robbin (10/5/2009 11:17 p.m.)
        
        Willoughby's predatoriness   Bridget D (10/6/2009 11:08 a.m.)
        
        Come hither signals   Robbin (10/7/2009 12:01 a.m.)
        
        girls   Bridget D (10/7/2009 7:22 a.m.)
        
        Distant Relation & Wife Swapping   Robbin (10/8/2009 4:32 p.m.)
        
        Wives   Bridget D (10/9/2009 5:00 a.m.)
        
        16 year old girls?   Barbara (10/7/2009 10:25 a.m.)
        
        16   Bridget D (10/8/2009 7:13 a.m.)
        
        Right!! But...   Reeba (10/8/2009 11:12 a.m.)
        
        Age of consent   Ivonne (10/8/2009 9:22 a.m.)
        
        more and less seducible girls   Heather Leigh (10/7/2009 12:38 a.m.)
        
        Lydia & Eliza   Robbin (10/7/2009 11:00 a.m.)
        
        This theme of seducing 16 years old girls   Outi (10/7/2009 3:30 p.m.)
        
        Sweet 16   Bridget D (10/9/2009 4:26 a.m.)
        
        Victims & Villains   Robbin (10/8/2009 4:46 p.m.)
        
        Double Standard   BarbaraB (10/8/2009 11:17 a.m.)
        
        Double standard for reputation   Barbara (10/8/2009 11:56 a.m.)
        
        Seduced   Bridget D (10/8/2009 7:06 a.m.)
        
        Revising my initial view of the "predator" question   Heather Leigh (10/7/2009 1:36 p.m.)
        
        Not sadistic   Robbin (10/8/2009 4:35 p.m.)
        
        Predators   Bridget D (10/8/2009 7:20 a.m.)
        
        Predators & Malicious Intent   Robbin (10/9/2009 9:53 a.m.)
        
        Some Thoughts   BarbaraB (10/8/2009 5:17 p.m.)
        
        A well-rounded summary, but   Outi (10/9/2009 3:28 a.m.)
        
        Marianne was Seduced   Robbin (10/9/2009 11:28 a.m.)
        
        Not much help needed   Outi (10/9/2009 3:58 p.m.)
        
        Marianne in love   Bridget D (10/11/2009 8:08 a.m.)
        
        Willoughby had no Right   Robbin (10/12/2009 4:27 p.m.)
        
        Agree nfm   BarbaraB (10/12/2009 6:48 p.m.)
        
        Seductions   Bridget D (10/10/2009 3:41 a.m.)
        
        Marianne broke her own heart?   Robbin (10/9/2009 7:47 p.m.)
        
        Marianne   kate lyle (10/10/2009 5:26 a.m.)
        
        I meant her heart was broken in the process   Outi (10/10/2009 4:52 a.m.)
        
        Oh dear!   Robbin (10/10/2009 10:12 a.m.)
        
        Broken hearts in modern times.   Rachel G (10/10/2009 4:24 a.m.)
        
        Protecting Hearts   Robbin (10/11/2009 12:03 a.m.)
        
        love and pain   Bridget D (10/10/2009 4:39 a.m.)
        
        I agree Outi   Ramya (10/9/2009 9:28 a.m.)
        
        Eliza etc   Bridget D (10/9/2009 2:16 a.m.)
        
        Excellent thoughts. Thanks :-)   Reeba (10/8/2009 6:16 p.m.)
        
        Hunting   Robbin (10/8/2009 6:10 p.m.)
        
        I do too   Outi (10/8/2009 3:23 p.m.)
        
        I do   CarolTS (10/8/2009 12:56 p.m.)
        
        So do I.   Rachel G (10/8/2009 5:00 p.m.)
        
        who's to blame   Bridget D (10/9/2009 2:26 a.m.)
        
        Doling out the Blame   Robbin (10/9/2009 12:55 p.m.)
        
        Eliza and her friend   Bridget D (10/10/2009 4:08 a.m.)
        
        Weighing Responsibility   Robbin (10/13/2009 4:20 p.m.)
        
        ranging over town   Bridget D (10/15/2009 5:04 a.m.)
        
        Even though I don't agree, I do ...   Reeba (10/8/2009 11:08 a.m.)
        
        yes I agree about the child   Bridget D (10/8/2009 1:40 p.m.)
        
        Where he lived...   Barbara (10/8/2009 2:08 p.m.)
        
        Burke's landed gentry?   Bridget D (10/9/2009 2:30 a.m.)
        
        But   BarbaraB (10/12/2009 3:51 p.m.)
        
        Forgive me for jumping in so late!   Ramya (10/8/2009 2:49 p.m.)
        
        It could also be possible....   Reeba (10/8/2009 3:35 p.m.)
        
        I assume she did not have to pay   Ramya (10/8/2009 6:35 p.m.)
        
        PS:   Reeba (10/8/2009 3:50 p.m.)
        
        Marianne knew his address, however,   kathleen (elder) (10/8/2009 2:17 p.m.)
        
        Forwarding mail   Ivonne (10/8/2009 6:48 p.m.)
        
        I often find myself wondering how people know where to send mail.   Barbara (10/8/2009 3:31 p.m.)
        
        You've got Mail   Bridget D (10/9/2009 2:35 a.m.)
        
        Mrs. Ferrars   Barbara (10/9/2009 12:36 p.m.)
        
        Mrs Ferrars and the postman   Bridget D (10/10/2009 4:50 a.m.)
        
        Absolutely   Barbara (10/11/2009 5:30 p.m.)
        
        I have no problem...   BarbaraB (10/12/2009 1:30 p.m.)
        
        Perhaps Sir John....   Reeba (10/8/2009 3:38 p.m.)
        
        I agree with you (I think)   Ivonne (10/8/2009 9:09 a.m.)
        
        I think that...   Reeba (10/7/2009 4:24 a.m.)
        
        I agree   Barbara (10/7/2009 10:27 a.m.)
      - predator points of reference Heather Leigh (10/4/2009 9:32 p.m.)
        
        Dangerous Liaisons Bridget D (10/6/2009 11:11 a.m.)
      - Predator Robbin (10/2/2009 11:59 a.m.)
      - A predator, Or "just" selfish?   Heather Leigh (10/2/2009 10:43 a.m.)
        
        Willoughby John D and Fanny   Bridget D (10/4/2009 9:02 a.m.)
        
        sins of commission/omission   Heather Leigh (10/4/2009 9:04 p.m.)
        
        Continuum   Bridget D (10/6/2009 11:15 a.m.)
        
        Intent to do Harm   Robbin (10/2/2009 12:44 p.m.)
        
        questions of intent   Heather Leigh (10/3/2009 4:09 p.m.)
        
        Selfish or Careless   Robbin (10/4/2009 12:27 p.m.)
        
        I see 'being predatory' as...   Reeba (10/3/2009 4:48 p.m.)
        
        Willoughby & vulnerable girls   Bridget D (10/4/2009 5:20 a.m.)
        
        Taking advantage.   Reeba (10/4/2009 6:33 a.m.)
        
        Willoughby   Bridget D (10/4/2009 8:23 a.m.)
        
        It ended abruptly. Who knows what his expectations were!! nfm   Reeba (10/4/2009 8:48 a.m.)
        
        WIlloughby and Marianne   Bridget D (10/4/2009 8:59 a.m.)
        
        Agree.   nan duval (10/3/2009 5:00 p.m.)
        
        Does the distinction matter...   Barbara (10/3/2009 4:17 p.m.)
        
        Criminal   Barb JA (10/4/2009 1:19 p.m.)
        
        You have hit the nail on the head.   nan duval (10/5/2009 8:06 p.m.)
        
        deliberately or negligent   Bridget D (10/4/2009 9:23 a.m.)
        
        I think the difference...   Reeba (10/4/2009 9:39 a.m.)
        
        Eliz and Willoughby's guilt   Bridget D (10/5/2009 7:17 a.m.)
        
        There's the rub   Barb JA (10/6/2009 12:38 p.m.)
        
        ranging over town   Bridget D (10/7/2009 7:13 a.m.)
        
        Rape or Seduction?   Robbin (10/8/2009 5:07 p.m.)
        
        seduction   Bridget D (10/9/2009 2:41 a.m.)
        
        different strokes for different folks   Karen G (10/9/2009 2:07 p.m.)
        
        The crime of seduction   TimLee (10/8/2009 6:13 p.m.)
        
        Crime of Seduction   Robbin (10/9/2009 10:16 a.m.)
        
        Age difference   Barbara (10/7/2009 1:02 p.m.)
        
        Eliza knowing better   Bridget D (10/8/2009 7:08 a.m.)
        
        Marianne as a Gage   BarbaraB (10/12/2009 12:11 p.m.)
        
        engaged couples and sexual activity   Heather Leigh (10/8/2009 11:54 a.m.)
        
        engagements and sex?   Bridget D (10/8/2009 1:30 p.m.)
        
        Judgement of a 16 year old   Barb JA (10/8/2009 10:48 a.m.)
        
        Great post   Karen G (10/9/2009 11:47 a.m.)
        
        point above   Karen G (10/9/2009 2:10 p.m.)
        
        Urgency   Barb JA (10/10/2009 8:20 a.m.)
        
        Willoughby betrayed her trust   Robbin (10/8/2009 6:29 p.m.)
        
        Blame Eliza/Don't Blame Eliza   TimLee (10/7/2009 2:16 p.m.)
        
        I tend to believe that...   Reeba (10/9/2009 10:30 a.m.)
        
        Good point!   Barbara (10/9/2009 12:39 p.m.)
        
        Friendlessness   TimLee (10/9/2009 1:30 p.m.)
        
        Well explained. Thanks :-) nfm   Reeba (10/7/2009 4:16 a.m.)
        
        Excellent! nfm   Robbin (10/7/2009 12:10 a.m.)
        
        Hear! Hear! nfm   nan duval (10/6/2009 8:50 p.m.)
        
        Well said, Reeba, thank you. (nfm)   Cathy Allen (10/4/2009 12:49 p.m.)
        
        I agree with Robbin   Melissa K. (10/2/2009 11:05 p.m.)
        
        Sense, Sensibility & Selfishness, that's clever...   Jeffrey (10/2/2009 11:07 a.m.)
      - I would think... Reeba (10/2/2009 10:11 a.m.)
        
        heiress Bridget D (10/4/2009 5:57 a.m.)
  - Too much of a coincidence? Barbara (10/1/2009 3:09 p.m.)

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