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Not snide   Written by Barb JA (9/11/2009 7:21 a.m.) in consequence of the missive, Thanks - these are perfect explanations!, penned by Anselm
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I believe as Kathleen (elder) said, that Elinor is being kind to her sister, she's letting her off the hook for the behavior that she and her mother have been engrossed in.

while you have been wholly engrossed on the most affectionate principle by my mother.

I think she's saying "You've been too busy to get to know Edward because you've been caring for our mother during this time, but for the sweetest reason.

I don't see any bitterness in Elinor for having to act the adult all the time. I don't see this as snide. I think she forgives them and loves them. She's softening their behavior rather than calling Marianne out on it.


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