Restraint vs reserve

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Restraint vs reserve Written by Heather Leigh (9/8/2009 2:11 a.m.) in consequence of the missive, Sense Conquers All, penned by RobinJ

I agree, this novel seems to validate self-restraint and control of feelings and expression. But I think it's interesting that self-restraint and dignity can tip over into being "reserved," too guarded and unrevealing for others to connect with, maybe even secretive. Reserve precludes authentic relationships, which demand some sharing of feelings and hopes and preferences. Excessive restraint and self-control leads to some of the same problems as selfishness and cold-heartedness.

If it weren't for the narrator opening Elinor's inner thoughts and and perceptions and conflicts to us, we might find her reserved rather than admirably restrained.

("One cannot love a reserved person."-- Emma)

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Chapter 1: The Dashwood Sisters kathleen (elder) (9/6/2009 7:04 a.m.)

Marianne Lex (9/6/2009 7:21 a.m.)
Ch 3 Jenny H (9/6/2009 8:52 a.m.)
Another underline - Sensible Marianne Barb JA (9/6/2009 12:09 p.m.)
- Confused. Lex (9/6/2009 12:32 p.m.)
  - I understand it a little differently Outi (9/6/2009 1:18 p.m.)
  - Sensibility BarbaraB (9/6/2009 1:50 p.m.)
    - Sensible? Carol J. (9/6/2009 3:57 p.m.)
      - And yet   Barb JA (9/6/2009 8:21 p.m.)
        
        Have I been looking at this all wrong?   Carol J. (9/6/2009 9:45 p.m.)
        
        Marriane's sense   Elbè (9/6/2009 10:09 p.m.)
        
        Perhaps JA didn't place sense at the apex of behaviour   Tom P2 (9/7/2009 5:28 a.m.)
        
        The title   CarolTS (9/7/2009 1:16 a.m.)
        
        To clarify   Barb JA (9/7/2009 6:11 a.m.)
  - Sense and Sensibility Caroline (9/7/2009 11:33 p.m.)
    - You make some very good points Elbè (9/8/2009 4:08 a.m.)
  - Now I understand. Lex (9/8/2009 12:26 a.m.)
- Of sensibility and suchlike Anselm (9/8/2009 12:12 p.m.)
  - Very interesting Rachel G (9/8/2009 5:28 p.m.)
  - Dictionaries (long) Barb JA (9/11/2009 10:03 a.m.)
Elinor and Marianne: not so very different Elizabeth K (9/6/2009 12:51 p.m.)
- Sense or sensibility Elbè (9/6/2009 2:32 p.m.)
  - Great Post, Elbe (Elinor's Control) BarbaraB (9/7/2009 12:29 a.m.)
    - Thanks Barbara, I will be keeping an eye out for those too Elbè (9/7/2009 1:12 a.m.)
    - Have Robbin (9/7/2009 4:50 p.m.)
      - Nope, just posing a question and watching for it nfm BarbaraB (9/7/2009 6:50 p.m.)
- Vivacious and fun-loving don't really suit Marianne Barbara (9/6/2009 10:28 p.m.)
  - Different opinions/different definitions Elizabeth K (9/7/2009 8:05 a.m.)
    - Fun loving. Reeba (9/7/2009 10:29 a.m.)
      - I didn't say that Elinor wasn't! :-) nfm Elizabeth K (9/7/2009 11:06 a.m.)
        
        You said... Reeba (9/7/2009 11:16 a.m.)
    - The adjectives don't suit her Barbara (9/7/2009 11:54 a.m.)
      - Each to his/her own. :-) nfm Elizabeth K (9/7/2009 1:20 p.m.)
        
        Not really Barbara (9/7/2009 1:40 p.m.)
  - Marianne's narrow mind Leah Mei (9/8/2009 2:04 p.m.)
- Sense Conquers All RobinJ (9/7/2009 7:22 p.m.)
  - New to Pemberley? LaurieC (9/7/2009 8:08 p.m.)
  - I agree ! Lex (9/8/2009 12:35 a.m.)
  - Restraint vs reserve Heather Leigh (9/8/2009 2:11 a.m.)
    - I can't help to notice SofiaL (9/8/2009 12:18 p.m.)
As a first time S&S reader, Cathy Allen (9/6/2009 2:02 p.m.)
Elinor teases Marianne nan duval (9/8/2009 8:34 p.m.)
- Such funnies! Barb JA (9/9/2009 7:42 a.m.)
  - Elinor is more observant? Erica M. (9/10/2009 9:52 p.m.)
    - Absolutely Barb JA (9/11/2009 8:14 a.m.)

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