I wondered if this was closer to what you really meant.
You have clarified well your idea how Elinor behaves to John and even Fanny.
Quite true, Mrs Dashwood would prefer to see the sisters on better terms with their half- brother. (thanks, I was looking for that quote.)

Elinor does manage to treat John and Fanny with attention and civilty which may amount to an outward respect. Though I feel this is a credit to Elinor's dignity rather than John's.

:)