I agree with what you say about the ladies waiting for a decision to be made for them.

In chapter 19 Marianne complains about how they are at the mercy of the Middletons, The rent of this cottage is said to be low; but we have it on very hard terms, if we are to dine at the park whenever any one is staying either with them or with us.

Elinor responds that We must look for the change elsewhere, however they cannot do this as their social circle is dictated by the Middletons.