She has, I think, four under seven. I did not mean the first months when you are nursing etc, I meant when they are up and running, and need amusing and protecting from their own adventurousness. I agree that she has a lot of help from servants but she is obviously very much involved with them.

I was not 'excusing' her from anything, just saying that the behaviour that Elinor and Marianne (and indeed JA) might see as cold and reserved, might also be a certain distractedness. I know there have been times when I have not paid proper attention to what people are saying, because my daughters are in the room. Equally, before I had children I was at times irrtated by friends who did, because they seemed to be ignoring or not properly listening to me.