Is not general incivility the very essence of love?

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Is not general incivility the very essence of love? Written by Adrian (6/6/2007 1:15 p.m.) in consequence of the missive, Clarification, penned by Ramya

Darcy's behavior was bad when he proposed, but I am not convinced that meant he did not love Lizzy. Within twenty-four hours--and in spite of her refusal--he was ready to trust her with one of his most closely kept family secrets. That shows a great deal of respect and trust.

Darcy would not be the first person to stick his foot in things when he set out to propose. He was always a little out of control around Lizzy, either revealing too much (about his faults at Netherfield, Ch. 11) or withholding too much (refusing to converse with her the next day, Ch. 12). Certainly Darcy was not used to proposing, he was still hideously proud and insensitive; but that does not mean he did not love Lizzy.

I cannot top the case Tracy makes for Darcy's trying to make his intentions clear beforehand and thinking Lizzy understands him. Of course Darcy is assuming too much since we cannot assume Lizzy willfully misunderstands him.

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Darcy's motives in writing the letter Kris L (6/1/2007 12:38 p.m.)

After a rejected proposal, it would have been terrible... Adrian (6/1/2007 1:14 p.m.)
- I think you have it just right, Adrian Cathy Allen (6/1/2007 4:20 p.m.)
  - Your posting just made me wonder about something... Lila (6/1/2007 7:39 p.m.)
    - This may depend on your definition of love Tracy W (6/2/2007 7:08 a.m.)
      - Darcy appears to be a deliberate character...   Lila (6/3/2007 8:36 p.m.)
        
        Interesting argument   Tracy W (6/4/2007 8:06 p.m.)
        
        In answer to Tracy W and Adrian....   Lila (6/4/2007 11:33 p.m.)
        
        I agree with you. Very well put! (nfm)   Lisa M. (6/11/2007 11:43 a.m.)
        
        Lust versus infatuation   Tracy W (6/5/2007 5:23 p.m.)
        
        Lust vs Healthy desire   Ramya (6/5/2007 6:17 p.m.)
        
        You can love someone and still hurt them   Tracy W (6/5/2007 9:23 p.m.)
        
        Clarification   Ramya (6/5/2007 10:11 p.m.)
        
        Is not general incivility the very essence of love?   Adrian (6/6/2007 1:15 p.m.)
        
        General incivility not specific   Ramya (6/6/2007 2:27 p.m.)
        
        Exactly!   Line (6/6/2007 6:33 p.m.)
        
        Thank you for responding in your final paragraph...   Adrian (6/6/2007 6:55 p.m.)
        
        The difficulty of courtship in Regency times   Tracy W (6/5/2007 11:36 p.m.)
        
        Inadequate courtship and mixed signals   Ramya (6/6/2007 2:24 p.m.)
        
        One detail   Deb A. (6/6/2007 9:16 a.m.)
        
        Oops. forgot that, thanks (nfm)   Tracy W (6/6/2007 5:28 p.m.)
        
        Low-key is one thing...   Line (6/6/2007 8:20 a.m.)
        
        I do think Elizabeth was being obtuse for another reason   Tracy W (6/6/2007 5:23 p.m.)
        
        Absolutely, but that's not courting, IMO!   Line (6/6/2007 6:44 p.m.)
        
        I will never seek to defend Darcy's skill at courting   Tracy W (6/7/2007 12:12 a.m.)
        
        Unsurprising?   Kathi (6/7/2007 12:31 a.m.)
        
        Are we reading the same book? :)   Tracy W (6/7/2007 5:06 p.m.)
        
        I don't know, are we? ;-)   Kathi (6/7/2007 9:09 p.m.)
        
        Time to stop (nfm)   Myretta (6/7/2007 9:23 p.m.)
        
        Why would Darcy try to pursuade Lizzy to be...   Adrian (6/6/2007 7:05 p.m.)
        
        Precisely! ;-)   Line (6/6/2007 10:31 p.m.)
        
        Actually I think Darcy does think he is giving Lizzy...   Adrian (6/7/2007 2:04 p.m.)
        
        I agree   Kathi (6/6/2007 8:44 a.m.)
        
        Thank you for this summary of Darcy`s courtship (nfm)   Michaela (6/6/2007 2:36 a.m.)
        
        I too have felt   Ramya (6/4/2007 11:51 p.m.)
        
        You make a good case for Darcy to fall for Jane...   Adrian (6/4/2007 2:11 p.m.)
    - Darcy's love and respect for Lizzy Rebecca K (6/1/2007 9:41 p.m.)
      - Agreed   Margaret S (6/1/2007 11:10 p.m.)
        
        Touche'. nfm   Lila (6/3/2007 8:42 p.m.)
        
        Yes, a voyage of self-discovery   Jessica T (6/2/2007 11:04 a.m.)
        
        Good point nfm   Rebecca K (6/1/2007 11:41 p.m.)

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