Mr. Wickham, I am very shocked by your behavior! You have known Miss Elizabeth Bennet for a mere two days and here you are dumping on her the most outrageously scandalous story at her own uncle's house, even though you must know by now that this lady's sister is expected to marry your former playmate's intimate friend. Are you hoping Mr. Darcy will hear about it? Because someone near him will, if not he himself.

[I had a couple of other things to say to you, sir, but as I realized they were spoilerish I edited myself.] Now I am beginning to think that you are inferior to Mr. Darcy not only morally, but also mentally.

Okay, Elizabeth, I am also a little ashamed of you here now as well. You are so biased by your narrow-minded neighbors! Listen to how McSchemy describes his enemy in his own words: not only "a conversible companion" but "liberal-minded, just, sincere, rational, honourable, and perhaps agreeable". All he has to do is throw in an intimation that he thinks he's better than you and you're forgetting what Wickham (his enemy) has literally just said about him.

How did the word "pride" become such an epithet? Use the words "good nature" in place of "it" (meaning pride in this instance) in the following sentence and you have "good nature has often led him to be liberal and generous – to give his money freely, to display hospitality, to assist his tenants, and relieve the poor." What a great guy! Oh, but he's "proud", how awful. Do you know, it puts me in mind of people I know in modern times who disdain the shy, retiring and sophisticated as "snotty". Is Hartfordshire the land of Regency 'haters'?