I really don’t see the early Darcy in such a negative light as you do. Sure, he was acting stupidly at the Assembly and I would argue that he was condescending to Elizabeth at Lucas Lodge, but as he gets to know her he starts treating her as an intelligent, rational creature and a friend. He acknowledges her understanding by discussing serious topics with her and gives her credit when she makes a good point. Contrast this with his snarky treatment of Caroline! When Elizabeth states a weak argument he corrects or teases her – something one is likely to do with a friend but not an acquaintance. Furthermore his comment about turning around the room is quite cheeky and would have been inappropriate if he was not intimately acquainted with both women.

When Elizabeth accuses him of hating everyone he smiles and replies that she wilfully misunderstands. I see this reply as him acknowledging the ridiculousness of her accusation but instead of attempting to answer her seriously, he mimics the totality of her statement and makes a playful reply. I don’t think his reply would have been as humorous if he did not consider her a friend.

When Darcy ignores Elizabeth in chapter 16, his actions are strange and antisocial but not out of character. Elizabeth does not know that he is intentionally ignoring her and refusing to look at her. From what she can see he is acting the same way he did in chapter 11 except Caroline is not there to distract him from his book.