You've got an interesting take on things, and some of it has merit, but I find I can't agree with your initial premise: that Frederick came to Kellynch purposely to see if he could "resurrect" anything with Anne.

I think he knew it likely he would run into Anne. I think he was curious to see her, and perhaps rub it in a bit - 'I wasn't good enough for you/your family eight years ago - Aren't you sorry now?' I don't think he was that blatant about it, but there has to be some resentment on his side, it's only human.

As for Anne being silent and giving him no encourgaement - for two people who knew each other so well - "there could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved." - he must know she would be embarrassed and have no wish to call attention to herself.