I am not disagreeing with you about what appear to be contradictions in Wentworth's thoughts about Anne and marriage, but I must point out that he agrees to visit his family at Kellynch. I wonder a little that he did not first go to visit his brother in Shropshire! Frederick must know that there is at least the possibility that he may run into Anne in the vicinity of her own home, or at least be in a position to hear a great deal about her! And once there, when he must be in her company with some frequency, he lingers. I wonder if Anne is not some part of what makes Uppercross "bewtiching"?

He had intended, on first arriving, to proceed very soon into Shropshire, and visit the brother settled in that county, but the attractions of Uppercross induced him to put this off. There was so much of friendliness, and of flattery, and of every thing most bewitching in his reception there; the old were so hospitable, the young so agreeable, that he could not but resolve to remain where he was, and take all the charms and perfections of Edward's wife upon credit a little longer.

It was soon Uppercross with him almost every day. (Ch 9)