I agree that Anne's attitude to her family has changed. I was drafting a post on this theme, and we used very similar terms to describe the change. You used the expressions “more incisive observations of her family”, “self oriented” and “doesn't seem as powerless”. My notes include:

-Anne is more distanced from her family, and her view of them more clearly critical.

-She has a new confidence in her own judgements, values and feelings.

So far our analysis is similar, but my take on the reasons for the change is somewhat different.

As I see it, since her separation from Wentworth eight years ago the only company Anne has had is that of her father, her sisters, the Musgroves, and Lady Russell. LR is the only one among them with even half a brain but her values differ significantly from Anne's. Anne is an intelligent, thoughtful and feeling woman, and her life has been an intellectual and emotional desert.

Lately she has encountered Benwick, who can meet her intellectually and seems honest about his grieving emotions. Even more importantly IMO, she has come to know the Crofts and the Harvilles, who's shared characteristics include straightforwardness, unpretentiousness, and open-hearted warmth and generosity of spirit. I think it is no coincidence that they present two examples of strikingly happy marriages. To some extent Mr and Mrs Musgrove senior share these traits, but their attention is chiefly focused on their own offspring.

I think Anne's observations of the Crofts and the Harvilles have given her the courage of her convictions, and the self confidence to say, if only to herself, “This is what is right, this is what is true. This is how things things ought to be. This is what I wish for.”
The corollary of this recognition is Anne's absolute rejection of the warped values of her father, her sisters and Lady Russell.