was that lots of those expressions were not meant for her ears.

The remark about "so altered that he should not have known her again" was stupidly careless, but I suspect he was unaware that Mary would be so insensitive as to repeat it. Indeed the ON says Frederick Wentworth had used such words, or something like them, but without an idea that they would be carried round to her."

Most of the last page of the chapter has the narrator moving around from inside Anne's head to inside CW's head.

I assume that what you call the "raffle" refers to his statement to Sophie that "Any body between fifteen and thirty may have me for asking." I strongly believe that this was said to his sister in a private conversation at Kellynch--away from the whole Uppercross crowd.

I'm not trying to defend CW for cherishing his grudge against Anne for using him ill, but hey! it's human nature.