In the argument about whether Captain Wentworth is behaving well or badly towards Anne, I must say that there is good evidence for both, as others have pointed out. I totally agree that he does *not* behave like a perfect gentleman towards her (or take the trouble to find out more about her POV), and personally I prefer it that way! I've never had much use for the spurned lover (so common in old Hollywood movies) who merely smiles and wishes his ex-girlfriend well as she prepares to ride off into the sunset with another man, with no sign of unhappiness or bitterness. Captain Wentworth is still sore at Anne, and being human he can't help showing it! I find his behaviour more realistic than (dare I say it?) a certain Fitzwilliam Darcy's at Pemberley.
Also, remember that we see things almost entirely from Anne's POV. I really wonder how "obvious" her unhappiness (and especially the reasons for it) are to someone who does not have access to her thoughs.