I have very much enjoyed this subthread. I especially liked Deborah Y's post above and her musings on what Wentworth might be feeling "in addition to not knowing what Anne is feeling, doesn't even know what he's feeling himself."

As Martina points out above, Anne absents herself -- if not physically then she is withdrawn -- in all of their meetings. It might not be Anne's place to make overtures to him, but I do not feel that Anne is behaving at all with dignity. It is almost as if she is belittling herself.

Is CW cruel to Anne? I think -- as Rae has said - that he is thoughtless, and that at best his behavior and actions are unintentionally very hurtful to Anne; but I do not see that he is singling her out at all, or that he is cruel to her on purpose. I have posted elsewhere that I think he has not quite figured out how best to act around Anne given their past relationship. But CW cannot and does not know that Anne has loved him all these years and followed his naval career so religiously. As far as he can tell, she wants nothing to do with him. Might he have done better to have stuck to his original plan and departed to visit his brother? Perhaps. But if he believes that he is nothing to Anne now, and has tried to convince himself that she is nothing to him, why should he not stay and enjoy the pleasant company?