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Wentworth is obviously cold, unbending, and resentful towards Anne yet you fault her for not flawing over him as the younger women do? When she found herself at the pianoforte (Ch. 7) his reaction was cold studied politeness and ceremonious grace. Just what do you expect Anne to do when this is his reaction to her presence? Then there is also the blunder of telling a young woman he just met that Anne is now only a wreck of her former beauty. How is she supposed to gaily face him knowing this? All indications are he does not wish to renew even friendship with her. As others have said it was up to him to set the tone of their relationship and he did that rather pointedly—making it clear they had nothing between them but acquaintance. He has all the power in this situation and Anne has none. Anne is behaving with dignity and understanding towards him when her heart is breaking—it is sad he does not have the chops or grace to return the favor. IMO it is Wentworth’s behavior that is cringe-worthy.
What in the text suggests Anne was anything like the Miss Musgroves when he first met her?