Anne's thoughts here in CH. 7:

"She would have liked to know how he felt as to a meeting. Perhaps indifferent, if indifference could exist under such circumstances. He must be either indifferent or unwilling. ***Had he wished ever to see her again, he need not have waited till this time; he would have done what she could not but believe that in his place she should have done long ago, when events had been early giving him the independence*** which alone had been wanting."

To her, as she is my focus (who values her and who doesn't), this could mean anything, but the underlying theme seems to be that he is punishing her for her rejection of him. Since he didn't make any attempt to meet with her again, once his independence was gained, she could only be hurt further by what happened during their first meeting and afterwards.

He didn't know, or rather hadn't thought, that she was very wounded still, pining in her own ways, was quite downtrodden and dejected. And in this way, he was still punishing her further. And as another poster has pointed out, he still had not forgiven her.

As far as my focus on Anne has gone, she is really only valued as herself by one member of her small community, and that is Lady Russell who is not present. Anne is "used" for various things, but she is not really valued. So to get this kind of thing directed at her from one who was/is beloved to her, was kind of the last straw. She has followed his career over eight months in the navy lists, and clearly has suffered for whatever she did to him.