I have always considered Lady Russell as Anne's best friend (a sort of Jane Bennet and Mrs Gardiner shaken together), and while I am sure she doates on Anne, I believe Anne's feelings are not always uppermost in Lady Russell's mind.

It is true, as Delories points out, that you don't have to be completely in tune with someone to love them, but it strucks me that, for one who claims to think so highly of her, Lady Russell hardly ever listens to Anne!

She does consult Anne about the retrenchment scheme, but then she proposes her own scheme to Sir Walter (here she is, in fact, justified, as we see).
She disregards Anne's dislike of Bath, actively promoting the Bath scheme.
She does all in her power to separate Anne from the man she loves, completely disregarding Anne's feelings.