She may have liked Mr. Elliot for himself, but she liked him "still more for being her father's heir, and whose strong family pride could see only in him, a proper match for Sir Walter Elliot's eldest daughter." Could it be that her disappointment results not from being crossed in love, but from having her plans, and those of her father come to naught? She meant to marry him, and quite possibly was discouraging to any other suitor that approached her.

This also seems to show that his suitability took precedence over other considerations, and that his amiability was only the icing on the cake. At this point, Mr. Elliot's primary faults appear to be only that he did not submit himself to Sir Walter as the "head of the house", and defer to him in all things. The impression I get from these passages of the Kellynch Elliots response is more "how dare he follow his own wishes, than "alas my love you do me wrong". As far as the accusations made against Mr. Elliot, they come from "very kind friends", as secondhand or even further removed information. These friends may have other motives for passing this information, if true , on to the family. If I, as a young man, were presented with the kind of people who currently held the honours, I might be contemptuous as well.