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|Can See Where You're Coming From...
Written by BarbaraB
(10/25/2005 1:53 a.m.)
in consequence of the missive, I just can't view Lady Russell, penned by Kim in AK
My biggest problem with LR is the way she has in the past pressured Anne and is now pressuring her (very subtlely) to marry a charismatic, sneaky, rich, snake in the grass. I also feel she does it in a manipulative way. As I have said below and also Maisy, Anne is a very good judge of character so I don't think we can overlook the way Anne feels about LR at all. But Anne herself, in her good judgement, knows LR, and knows what LR's faults are and accepts them but she has also realized that if she wants FW, she is going to have to go around LR's faults in order to acheive her own happiness.
Basically we choose/keep friends by what's good in them and what faults we can and can not accept. Some people can be friends with one person because they don't have a problem with whatever their faults are while another person can't deal with them. One person might say I don't like 'so and so' because she complains too much or is too cliskish or whatever. Someone else might not have a problem with it and can be perfectly good friends because that person compliments something in themselves, are in synch/soulmates in some way, see the good characteristics in a person as outweighing the faults that might bother them or... I guess that's my basic problem here. I don't like to be pressured and I don't like manipulation. I don't mind advice but I want to make up my own mind and if my decision is wrong I feel a good friend will be supportive anyway.
] I am the mother of a beautiful, naive, almost 15-year old daughter,
I know the feeling. I raised a daughter also (plus two sons) so I know where you're coming from though mine are beyond their teen years now. :) ]and I would be horrified if a charasmatic, impetuous, impulsive, penniless man came to steal her heart with fairy tale promises! I can understand this too. (It's constant worry, isn't it?) On the other hand I can also remember being worried about the other side of the coin. Because we felt our kids were also vulnerable we were concerned that if anything happened to us, my husband and myself, simultaneously, that we had to protect them from members of the family whom we knew would be more interested in their own interests above those of our children. We would not have wanted anyone who, maybe was basically good, but was by the same token, overbearing, manipulative and less inclined to be in tune with the interestests of our kids. We put in writing exactly whom we wanted them to be cared by if anything happened, people who would see them as the precious individuals that we did.
]Likewise Mrs. Smith. Yes, her actions are rather troubling, but I still believe JA intended us to see her as really caring about Anne.
Strangely enough I agree completely with this. In the past I don't remember being entirely persuaded toward this point of view but this time I had complete empathy for Mrs. Smith. I haven't had time to reflect on why so I will have to try to post on this at a later time. :)
]I've tried to be open-minded (honestly!) but I think I will have to agree to disagree about Lady Russell's character.
I tried honestly to see it like you do too but, alas.... Still, I love reading all points of view and firmly belive that no one should be 'pressured/persuaded' into feeling any way that they don't want to. :)
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