I agree, parents aren't expected to be rational or objective about things like that. Civility to me suggests, that they would allow Anne to play simply because that was the polite thing to do--but they'd much prefer to have her play country dances for a half hour at a stretch for their amusement. Civility does not suggest affection.

Again it comes round to lack of appreciation. The Musgroves just don't get Anne, they don't read, their taste in music isn't good enough to appreciate her better talent. There is nothing there you'd call friendship, which requires real esteem, merely a kindness born out of the fact that they are decent people with good manners and Anne is very quick to make herself useful to them.

As for her mechanically playing, I agree it was a self-protection scheme, to help her get through the evening. She agreed to do that, but there is no thought of her tiring or requiring a break, it's as if she's a machine. It's the same thing during the walk. Though Anne is the only one of the party truly fatigued, no one takes a moment's notice of it. You can say she willingly puts up with it, but then again, Anne's aim is not to be in anyone's way. She doesn't want to make a fuss. She requires a little extra looking after, I think, because she tends to let herself get worn out. Sometimes with people like that you simply have to insist, as was the case with the gig ride, or they will never take anything for themselves.