] she must get very tired to be so often conforming to the needs of others

I agree. Before the visit, she has to psych herself into *belonging* to the Musgrove crowd by adjusting herself to their concerns and needs.

[She] hoped, ere long, to become a not unworthy member of the one she was now transplanted into. With the prospect of spending at least two months at Uppercross, it was highly incumbent on her to clothe her imagination, her memory, and all her ideas in as much of Uppercross as possible.

Since she realizes that the Musgroves are pretty much concerned with their own little world (as the Musgroves can get unintentionally "clique-ish", eh?), Anne makes herself once again conform to the needs and interests of others.

] The neglect that her family showed her allowed her to withdraw, however, and that's not necessarily good for her in the long run.