JA's own feelings about love and marriage

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JA's own feelings about love and marriage Written by Line (4/20/2010 10:02 a.m.) in consequence of the missive, Austen believed in marrying one's equal., penned by Connie

I've linked a thread from a "Mansfield Park" GR we did below. (I hope it's acceptable to link posts from the GR of another novel!) All I can say is that the "dark" side of having high principles is that you are extremely disappointed, not to say judgemental, when someone close to you, who you always thought shared those principles, turns out not to. (Keep in mind that contemporaries considered MP JA's most "moral" novel.)

Also, in "Persuasion", JA's last novel, I get the impression that Anne Elliot decides not to marry two seemingly excellent suitors, not just because she doesn't love them at present, but because she feels she never *will* be able to love either of them with the memory of Captain Wentworth in her heart, and that would be immoral in her eyes.

JA's feelings on love and marriage

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Elizabeth "shooting from the hip" over Charlotte.. jeffrey (4/19/2010 1:08 p.m.)

Engaged to Mr. Collins! my dear Charlotte, impossible! Stephanie (4/19/2010 3:50 p.m.)
- There is a great essay entitled "Sleeping with Mr Collins&qu AnnetteJ (4/19/2010 4:19 p.m.)
  - Eeeyew...perish the mental image of THAT! (NFM) jeffrey (4/19/2010 4:35 p.m.)
    - similarities between Sir William and Mr. Collins Carol (4/26/2010 3:44 p.m.)
      - Never thought of that before. Thanks. nfm BarbaraB (4/27/2010 2:09 p.m.)
      - Similarities & Differences Robbin (4/27/2010 6:51 p.m.)
  - Great point OlgaI (4/21/2010 4:40 a.m.)
    - My image of Mr Collins is based entirely on kathleen (elder) (4/21/2010 7:09 p.m.)
      - I was talking of another take but   OlgaI (4/22/2010 4:20 a.m.)
        
        I agree that Charlotte can probably   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 6:22 a.m.)
        
        Charlotte's future   OlgaI (4/22/2010 7:38 a.m.)
        
        From near-certain misery to...   gianni (4/22/2010 9:37 a.m.)
        
        Living w/ her family is near-certain misery?   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 10:12 a.m.)
        
        Because she is not a child any more   OlgaI (4/22/2010 11:21 a.m.)
        
        So JA should have married?   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 11:34 a.m.)
        
        Yes if she would have liked   OlgaI (4/22/2010 11:52 a.m.)
        
        So, do you believe that JA chose   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 12:11 p.m.)
        
        Don't you please use JA   OlgaI (4/22/2010 12:19 p.m.)
        
        I do NOT judge her by myself :-)   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 12:21 p.m.)
        
        Exactly!   OlgaI (4/22/2010 12:23 p.m.)
        
        My five cents   Nina RG (4/22/2010 12:03 p.m.)
        
        Obviously Charlotte would rather marry than not   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 12:06 p.m.)
        
        Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance   Nina RG (4/22/2010 12:12 p.m.)
        
        LOL -- according to the unmarried Charlotte, yes! nfm   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 12:22 p.m.)
        
        It would have been interesting   Karen G (4/22/2010 1:10 p.m.)
        
        Perfect for Each Other   Robbin (4/23/2010 1:29 p.m.)
        
        Interesting comparison Charlotte to Mr. Bennet   Karen G (4/23/2010 1:45 p.m.)
        
        An Exemption   Robbin (4/23/2010 2:02 p.m.)
        
        I think this is a modern, Western attitude   Connie (4/22/2010 12:26 p.m.)
        
        I don't think so   OlgaI (4/22/2010 2:21 p.m.)
        
        I agree   Line (4/22/2010 9:50 a.m.)
        
        Security and happiness...   Connie (4/22/2010 10:18 a.m.)
        
        Unintelligent by nature or nurture?   Adrian (4/22/2010 12:59 p.m.)
        
        The terms of the entail are   kathleen (elder) (4/22/2010 2:11 p.m.)
- Elizabeth, in an off-handed way, showing concern for.. jeffrey (4/19/2010 4:28 p.m.)
- Her initial reaction CarolTS (4/19/2010 4:43 p.m.)
Dissapointment and age B. Michelle (4/19/2010 6:50 p.m.)
- Not quite the same boat CarolTS (4/19/2010 10:08 p.m.)
  - Do we drop our friends because they do something AnnetteJ (4/20/2010 8:27 a.m.)
    - Lizzy's loss of closeness to Charlotte... Adrian (4/20/2010 12:35 p.m.)
      - Is that because of whom Charlotte married or Lizzy's view   AnnetteJ (4/20/2010 12:58 p.m.)
        
        How about love, marriage hopes for Lizzy? nfm   Connie (4/20/2010 2:40 p.m.)
        
        Not sure why that would be a problem. nfm   AnnetteJ (4/20/2010 4:26 p.m.)
        
        Well, if you were Lizzy...   Connie (4/20/2010 4:47 p.m.)
        
        sensible, intelligent young woman [] readily joined by Jane   Stephanie (4/20/2010 9:00 p.m.)
        
        I agree with that view. Why leave a friendship of long   AnnetteJ (4/21/2010 8:18 a.m.)
        
        Too early in the AM: "Any danger of that" nfm   AnnetteJ (4/21/2010 8:20 a.m.)
        
        nor could Elizabeth persuade [Jane] to consider it as improbable   Stephanie (4/21/2010 11:35 a.m.)
        
        How do we know that Mr Collins is not   kathleen (elder) (4/21/2010 7:21 p.m.)
        
        I think "romanticized" is the wrong adj. for Jane.   Connie (4/21/2010 10:51 a.m.)
        
        I'm not so sure   Nancy Ann (4/24/2010 11:41 a.m.)
        
        I did not mean to say that advice was the only reason...   Connie (4/24/2010 3:40 p.m.)
        
        I still hope that Lizzy   Nancy Ann (4/25/2010 9:43 a.m.)
        
        I imagine that if Lizzy can be civil to Darcy...   Adrian (4/25/2010 9:09 p.m.)
- Never really knew Charlotte Barbara (4/20/2010 12:28 p.m.)
  - That Lizzy shoul dbe shocked at Charlotte's... Adrian (4/20/2010 12:45 p.m.)
    - Missing all the signs Barbara (4/20/2010 12:59 p.m.)
      - And I would agree with you...   Adrian (4/20/2010 1:04 p.m.)
        
        Maybe Lizzy isn't as good a judge of character as she thinks-nfm   LisaS (4/20/2010 6:53 p.m.)
        
        How often has she been wrong?   Kathi (4/20/2010 9:11 p.m.)
      - Not taking the signs seriously Kathi (4/20/2010 7:55 p.m.)
Consider that... gianni (4/19/2010 8:01 p.m.)
- Austen believed in marrying one's equal. Connie (4/19/2010 8:50 p.m.)
  - the business of love-making relieved them Stephanie (4/19/2010 9:39 p.m.)
  - Ok, so I haven't yet read... gianni (4/19/2010 10:53 p.m.)
    - I think the romantic ideals she criticizes in S&S... Connie (4/20/2010 10:49 a.m.)
      - I have an issue with just one of the statements here.....   jeffrey (4/20/2010 12:33 p.m.)
        
        I agree Jeffrey - Charlotte is no dummy and she could   AnnetteJ (4/20/2010 12:54 p.m.)
        
        I fancy she was wanted about the mince-pies.   Stephanie (4/20/2010 2:14 p.m.)
        
        Charlotte: I am not romantic, you know   OlgaI (4/21/2010 4:24 a.m.)
        
        LOL!   Cheryl (4/21/2010 10:57 a.m.)
        
        You're welcome :)   OlgaI (4/21/2010 2:43 p.m.)
        
        You know, ...   gianni (4/21/2010 11:21 p.m.)
        
        plus Jane   OlgaI (4/22/2010 7:51 a.m.)
        
        The eternal question   Line (4/22/2010 9:36 a.m.)
        
        Uneasy about their friendship?   Line (4/22/2010 9:45 a.m.)
        
        I've never been bothered by that   Karen G (4/22/2010 10:54 a.m.)
        
        Stupid or just socially immature and ignorant? (nfm)   jeffrey (4/21/2010 11:59 a.m.)
        
        Unfortunately both :)   OlgaI (4/21/2010 2:26 p.m.)
        
        I think Charlotte would do her duty by Mr. Collins   Connie (4/20/2010 2:26 p.m.)
        
        Charlotte's feelings for Mr. Collins   Anne-Marie (4/20/2010 2:36 p.m.)
      - Valid or invalid objections to a marriage partner   Barbara (4/20/2010 12:43 p.m.)
        
        We need to distinguish   Adrian (4/20/2010 12:53 p.m.)
        
        My point   Barbara (4/20/2010 1:05 p.m.)
        
        A very good concise point, Adrian...   jeffrey (4/20/2010 1:15 p.m.)
        
        Please add nfm if there is no further message :-) (nfm)   Line (4/20/2010 2:53 p.m.)
        
        Thanks, I forgot (senior moment) (NFM)   jeffrey (4/21/2010 8:23 a.m.)
      - Well, no... gianni (4/20/2010 1:21 p.m.)
        
        Let's stay on topic Cheryl (4/20/2010 2:00 p.m.)
  - JA's own feelings about love and marriage Line (4/20/2010 10:02 a.m.)
Mr Collins, Charlotte, and Lizzy Mary Anne (4/20/2010 8:17 a.m.)
- Elegant females refusing Barbara (4/20/2010 12:08 p.m.)
- Just because you refused him did you think.... Silvia A (4/20/2010 8:26 p.m.)
  - marriage had always been her object; Stephanie (4/20/2010 8:53 p.m.)
    - Precisely what's horrid about it Mary Anne (4/21/2010 8:35 a.m.)
      - Charlotte's margarita! Kathryn Ann (4/23/2010 10:54 a.m.)
  - I agree - a block or defense mechanism Karen G (4/22/2010 1:44 p.m.)
Apologies for introducing this topic ahead of schedule.. jeffrey (4/20/2010 1:33 p.m.)
- We're allowed to talk about all of ch. 13-23 CarolTS (4/20/2010 2:32 p.m.)
  - Who moderates so I can respond accordingly? jeffrey (4/20/2010 5:25 p.m.)
    - Schedule Cheryl (4/20/2010 6:52 p.m.)
      - Put the Chapters on Your Calendar Lenora (4/22/2010 5:48 p.m.)
Charlotte, no guiding hand for Mr Collins, but for their children Benedicte (4/21/2010 5:55 a.m.)
- everything was settled between them to the satisfaction of both Stephanie (4/21/2010 11:24 a.m.)
  - But he's not always going to be under CarolTS (4/21/2010 12:10 p.m.)
    - Escape (perhaps) is not his plan Robbin (4/21/2010 4:11 p.m.)
      - IIRC A living is a life tenure Adrian (4/21/2010 6:03 p.m.)
        
        Thanks Adrian! (:D) nfm Robbin (4/21/2010 7:28 p.m.)
The plight of unmarried women... Benedicte (4/22/2010 2:52 p.m.)
Charlotte vs Lizzy Connie (4/22/2010 4:21 p.m.)
- Charlotte's financial situation Line (4/22/2010 5:48 p.m.)
  - Interesting take on it. Connie (4/22/2010 6:02 p.m.)
- Charlotte marries for security Aaron (4/23/2010 4:04 p.m.)
  - I agree with your post as far as it goes. Connie (4/23/2010 5:25 p.m.)
  - Women had to marry? kathleen (elder) (4/23/2010 8:06 p.m.)
    - turning down her own engagement Aaron (4/27/2010 1:48 a.m.)
      - Spot On! Lenora (4/27/2010 7:54 a.m.)
probably a very big family... Benedicte (4/22/2010 6:19 p.m.)

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