No I never said that he wasn't serious about raising his children in that way.... ??? At least I certainly did not mean to imply that.. I think that he's a very serious man adn I never said that he did not have "good intent"...

I said that he was conflicted...I think that his worldly side conflicts very much with his "very very moral" side..
many fathers in his position would pretty mcuh expect their eldest son to run up debts, and while they might be annoyed, the attitude would be "youth wil have its fling, I was a wild young chap myself" etc...
and if that had happened to some fahters, they would probalby have just sucked up the debts. But Sir T is a serious and moral man... he take financial probity more seriously than many aristocratic fathers would and does not want ot live in debt and he takes pains once Tom gets into financial trouble to try and sort it out by selling Edmund's living.

but my point is that surely he must know what Tom is like.. he must know that he's a selfish young chap and is likely to get inot financial trouble.. so why not put him on a reasonable allowance and then say "If you get into debt, you're on your own.." or "if you get into debt, Im going ot haul you back to Mansfield and cut off your allowance... or put you in the army or some occupation..."
it was not unheard of for elder sons to do a stint in the army to give them some occupation while they waited for their inheritance...
or if he had to sell soemthing to pay off the debts, why not pick some property that would not impact on Edmund, but wihch would punish Tom more directly by reducing his future inheritance.. There may well have been other unentailed property ... possibly the plantation was unentailed....

I think that it shows up all through the book that Sir Thomas while well meaning, is torn between a very rigid "moralism" and a worldly side..
He wants to do well by Fanny but he does not want her marrying his sons. He falls into the temptation of not really makign a gentlewoman's provision for her, but letting her become a poor relation and be exploited by his wife and Mrs Norris. Again, he wants his daughters to be "good moral girls" but he's rather relieved IIRC when Maria does not wnat to break her engagement to Mr R...