I feel Sir Thomas is “really into” raising his children to be successful productive adults. You seem to be making the argument that because he has made mistakes it means he is not serious about raising his children. The narrator describes Sir Thomas as ‘a truly anxious father’ (2) and I do not see a reason to disbelieve it. Sir Thomas has ill-judged Mrs. Norris, been bamboozled by his daughters and values wealth and consequence a little too much. They are grievous errors but it does not mean he is not an anxious parent. I do not see how the poor results of his efforts change his anxious but good intent to raise his children well. I can’t agree Sir Thomas does not care about raising his children correctly because he has made mistakes and errors in judgment.

How could Sir Thomas have stopped Tom’s extravagant spending? It seems very likely Tom ran up debts when he was away from MP and it may not have been possible for Sir Thomas to know his son’s financial situation until presented with urgent requests for payment. Edmund attended Eton and Oxford and I don’t know if Tom attended just the first, both or neither but he ‘listened with some shame and some sorrow’ (3) to his father’s lecture on his spending habits. His shame suggests Tom has been taught better how to manage his money but with the ‘liberal dispositions of an eldest son, who feels born only for expense and enjoyment’ (2) he was extravagant instead. At twenty-five I think Tom ought to be held accountable for his own actions.