that she doesn't care what Fanny thinks of her. Maybe I didn't express that quite right.

I was trying to say that Mrs. Norris is always very aware of herself and her manipulations, whereas I find that Mr. Collins is not. Mr. Collins appears to me to have no idea about how he is perceived by others, and therefore often, without realizing it, quite often affronts people of rank, that he is trying to impress (e.g. his first meeting with Darcy).

This could happen to Mrs. Norris also, as it could to anyone, but she is in general very aware of how she is perceived and uses this to manipulate people. For example the whole scheme to take Fanny in and then talking the Bertram's into her living with them. The whole scheme works on the Bertram's and they don't think she's "silly", which is what Mr. Collins would be. To the Bertram's she appears quite the opposite.