In view of the interest in servants this week, I thought you might appriciate a look at the acerbic wit of Jonathon Swift.

This is a conduct book with a difference.

He wrote it in 1768,(but note, it is unfinished)at a time when "The Servant Problem" was becoming a matter of fashonable society interest ;-)

Here are some of his "Instructions" to whet your appetites:

"Rules that concern all Servants in General:

If it be possible,never tell a lye to your master or lady, unless you have some hopes that they cannot find oit out in less than half an hour.........

When you have a mind to leave your master,and are too bashful to break the matter for fear of offending him, your best way is to grow rude and saucy of a sudden,and beyond your usual behaviour,till he finds it necessary to turn you off;and when youare gone to revenge yourself, give him and his lady sucha character to all your borther servants,who are out of place,that none will venture to offer their service.......

To the Butler:

......if anyone derires a glass of bottled ale;first shake the bottle,to see whether any thing be in it,then taste it , to know what liquor it is,that you may not be mistaken;and lastly wipe the mouth of the bottle with the palm of your hand,to shew your cleanliness.

I've linked the book at Amazon.com below

(If anyone wants it in the Uk-then here is the Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1843910624/therepublicofp04/202-7461086-4804618 )