Mandy, sorry to hear you haven't managed to get hold of a copy of "Gentleman's Daughter", how frustrating it must be for you to only have us posters' opinions and insights.

However, you have raised some interesting points, you have certainly got me thinking!

I am going to stick my neck out here and hope my fellow Citizen's will be kind about my uninformed opinions. I think what the author is saying is, in general, a man proposed, the woman accepted, the woman's family negoitated with the man and/or his family on the amount of money and/or land and income there of the woman's family was willing to "settle" or "give" to the man. If the "terms" where unacceptable to the man, then I think the man could "withdraw" his offer of marriage.

I think and I stress I only think, I don't know, but if the negotiations broke down and the man withdrew his "offer", he could walk away with his reputation in tact, but the woman's would be "tainted". Why her reputation would be tainted and his wouldn't is another story.