Well one of the pleasures of hosting is that you get to determine the the table, food, schedule, and indeed fire. Or at least you get to determine it if you are as rich as the Woodhouses are. If Mr Woodhouse doesn't like late hours, or large groups of people, then that's his preference. We probably all dislike some sort of social occasions.

I generally don't get a sense that Mr Woodhouse is controlling. In chapter 1 JA says that Emma doing just what she liked; highly esteeming Miss Taylor's judgment, but directed chiefly by her own. If Emma's doing just what she likes, then where is her father managing to control her? Also, it's clear from chapter 1 that Mr Woodhouse has failed to prevent his older daughter Isabella from marrying, and has failed to prevent Miss Taylor from marrying. Whatever Mr Woodhouse's desire to control those around him, he doesn't seem to be that effective a controller.