There was plenty of blame to go around between Emma and Jane. The text you quoted in your original post shows that they each seem not only to come to the conclusion that they have missed out on good companionship - even friendship - over the years due to their own behaviors and attitudes, but that each of them might have known it deep down all along and yet persisted in their behaviors.

What a sad state of affairs for them. Happily, though, they have cleared the air and appear to be on the road to true friendship. Mr. K and Frank might not be ready to embrace one another as bosom buddies, but that deosn't mean their wives can't engage in building a strong relationship.