... she has developed those skills, imo, because of the loss of her mother and her father's childishness - she knows how badly things can go if her father in particular is not kept completely happy about all the tiny things, like the gruel and the draughts. But still, it is a real skill that other people, who haven't had to take charge in that way tend to lack. I imagine Mr Knightley notices because he is in a similar situation of power regarding most of the rest of the local townsfolk.