…one interprets what has been quoted for support of your POV.

For eg. minimizing the acts done in the favour of a 'pushover';

"....because she had said how fond she was of them -- and in every thing else he was so very obliging!"

"..shepherd's son into the parlour one night on purpose to sing to her."

"Mrs. Martin's saying, as she was so fond of it, it should be called her cow;"

This is information from Harriet who's conscience of the fact that it was for her.

>Harriet also received a great deal of special treatment from Miss Woodhouse.

...but also involved doubts, listening to negativity about Martins.

Harriets staying over at Hartfield increased after the proposal, which includes the night 'when she would be alone and without influence in her acquired room'.

You have quoted;
>“Harriet must give us as much of her company as she can while my brother and sister are here” (9).

But she also says in CH 11:;
>She hardly wished to have more leisure for [them]. There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.

>I think Harriet should have followed her heart

..considering she had no brains to follow ;-)