Is Emma an enabler? Mr. John Knightley's retorts to his father-in-law, though they may be ill-timed and ill-worded, appear to be a normal reaction to Mr. Woodhouse's whining. However, I agree with what you said: She invests extraordinary effort in ensuring that her father can maintain his habits of "gentle selfishness".

Is Emma doing this out of a false sense of duty, or does it give her a feeling of control over her father? It could also be argued that her father has control over Emma. Isabella does not seem to feel an obligation to pander to his emotional needs- she not only moved beyond easy reach of Harfield, but does not even like staying behind for some time without her husband.