Emma does seem to have something of a split personality, doesn't she? I've been noting all the instances where this occurs so far. You mentioned some good instances in your post and I'll just add mine:

"She was delighted to see her father look comfortable, and very much pleased with herself for contriving things so well..." (3)

You're right, she is very selfless with regards to her father. But a second afterward she is also feeling very happy with herself as well. "...with the real good-will of a mind delighted with its own ideas..."

With regards to her attitude toward Robert Martin, she starts out speaking highly of him ("his being a very respectable young man") and transitions almost immediately to calling him "coarse and unpolished". Later, when she sees Robert Martin, she thinks of him as having a "neat and sensible appearance" but then describes him as "clownish" to Harriet. I think these instances are consciously done but I don't think she is always aware of this sort of thing going on in her head.