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|When a monster is born ...
Written by The Kitchen Girl
(6/11/2013 1:14 p.m.)
Dear Lady Catherine,
I have it on good authority that, when a monster is born (and it happens to be an under-your-bed monster who ate a head teacher at a child's school and then said sorry and came away for the faraway-forests before sleeping for the night behind an expensive hotel and under a broken umbrella), there are two possibilities.
Both possibilities, however, now appear to directly involve me. (Remarkable how fate rules out odds to reach a given point in time!) I am to either escape the monster crouched behind the hotel with my empty saucepan, having not noticed the creature, dousing it thoroughly in leftover cold porridge. Or I end up seeing it and stopping face-to-face in front of it.
Most unfortunately for me, I have ended up face-to-face with it. Now the thing is offering me a rose. (Oh, horror! My chance to run has gone!) I think he wishes to declare monster love, but I am very frightened. I would still like to run off and cry, 'Help! Help!' Then again, I would also like to take the rose on the (small) chance that the beast changes into a handsome young man, as I am sure I read that in a fairy tale once. Then again, I am sure I couldn't stand it if I became a monster instead; I fear close contact with the thing could impact me for the worse, as much as it could him for the better.
Too many possibilities!
Oh, whatever should I do?
The Kitchen Girl.
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