Dear Lady Catherine,
As you are a noblewoman of pure blood and rank, perhaps you can help me.
I seek to keep out the riff-raff from
my our great and glorious castle of Hogwarts, which I unfortunately share with Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff and, worst luck, Godric Gryffindor, the slime. The trouble is that the Misses Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor in particular, all wish to have every manner of young person coming into the castle, upstarts who are not fit to cross its stone floors with their muddy hems. They are those not of the right stock and birth to be our associates, to learn the magical arts and secrets of Hogwarts Castle! I say keep out the riff-raff and keep magical learning among only a select few! But how, Lady Catherine? What cunning spell can I use to keep the shades of our Forbidden Forest unpolluted?
Like you, I am not in the habit of brooking disappointment and if these people were sensible of their own good ...