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Written by Mr Darcy
(3/1/2013 11:38 a.m.)
in consequence of the missive, Arr!, penned by Charlie Brown
Has it never occurred to you, young man, to get someone else to hold your football, since Miss Van Pelt is clearly unreliable, and indeed unkind. She cannot be the only person you know, and really it is very unsuitable to be playing such games with females. (Though I am told Mrs Henry Tilney was a useful cricketer and base ball player in her young days, she never resorted to football and gave up manly sports in her mid-teens).
Better yet, give up football and improve your mind with extensive reading. An improved mind might gain sufficient logic as to stop you believing that a girl who has regularly broken her promise to you is ever going to keep it.
Or else you might find a pastime that does not need assistance from another person. Have you ever tried flying a kite, for example?
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