Dear Lady Catherine,

I cannot help observing how frequently a fish hook, vicious, ghastly things, is dangled about my head with a note reading “Sorry, Charlie.” With such a strange, unlooked for apology I hardly know how to suppose I am an object of admiration to so many fishermen; and yet they fish for me because they dislike me is still more strange. I have good taste but I am not so illogical or void of self-preservation to advertise it to a snooty fish company. There are plenty of fish in the sea so why do they take the trouble of coming so far to tease me specifically? What could they propose by it and what can I do to stop it?

Yours, etc.